this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Is there a word that means "a hatred of gay people", rather than "a fear of or aversion to gay people"? Surely there are people who simply hate homosexuality without necessarily fearing it, and vice versa. Someone who hates homosexuality should probably be condemned for their unreasonable and hateful prejudices, but should someone who actually fears homosexuality but without hating it be condemned in the same way? Why isn't there a distinction?

And similarly, why do we have words like "arachnophobia" which means a fear of something (not necessarily a hatred of it; though you might hate what you fear, that isn't necessarily always the case, nor is the opposite always true either (fearing what you hate)), but "homophobia" is used to mean "hatred of homosexuality" rather than a genuine fear of it without necessarily hating it?

It makes me feel a bit sorry (as much as one can) for people who might genuinely be afraid of the idea of homosexuality, maybe even struggling with their own sexuality or possibly in denial of being homosexual themself, but without hating it at all (even possibly being supportive of it), not having a word that conveys a fear of the concept/phenomenon without any kind of disdain for it, since "homophobia" would generally be interpreted to mean something far more negative. Usually when someone has a phobia for something, we support them to deal with it in a non-accusatory way, but in this case, well, I guess there isn't even a word for that kind of phobia if it's actually a phobia in the usual sense.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I see what you mean. I guess it’s hard though because currently they can already say that

And you're right, they do. But I've got little interest in providing them with more nuance to explain why they want me to have less rights than them.

whereas if there was a word that meant hatred of gay people, they would have to admit they are that thing instead

No, they wouldn't. They would just say that they don't hate queer folk, because they don't want to hurt/exile/kill them etc. They do this already.

"I don't hate gay folk, but... "

I don’t know what we can say to people who aren’t hateful but just afraid of the idea of homosexuality.

In all my years, I've never encountered such a person. If they do exist, then they can just explain it to their therapist in full sentences as needed, rather than normalising some forms of bigotry.

Even if someone is "afraid" of gay folk, that's still their problem. It's something they need to work on, rather than pushing the mental cost of working through their irrational fears on people that are already unfairly targeted by bigotry.