this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2024
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Somehow Palpatine returned
Alternate ending:
A small, innocuous looking bat takes the form of DRACULA behind CHARACTER 1 and CHARACTER 2
DRACULA: Why the fuck would I need a jetpack? How did you morons forget about the bat thing? It's been part of my image for like, a hundred years.
Alternate alternate:
Character 1 sees Dracula turn into a bat and fly into another tower in the distance. Chooses to keep that information to themself for no particular reason.
I feel like this is personally attacking Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and that movie deserves nothing but accolades.
To be fair, it does what it says on the tin.
You know I've seen every other mainline Star Wars and several of the one-offs and TV shows but I never got around to this one and I haven't really felt like I missed out.
Same. I read about it in memes mostly and at some point I was like 'alright that's enough of that'.
You're right.
This thing again. Palpatine is in a room full of cloning tanks talking about having unnatural powers. Next scene characters mention cloning and dark powers. It's just Poe doesn't know how it happened (he's not omniscient) and doesn't much care. Fascism returned and he's going to fight against it, that's all he needs to know.
It's explained but the hot take internet reactions missed it. And then memes were created to brag about being to stupid to understand something that happened in a Star Wars movie that a child could understand.
Somehow you don't understand what things mean in a Star Wars movie. Congratulations!
Somehow all efforts from episode 4-6 were in vain and Anakin wasn't the chosen one again because throwing Palpatine into the death star core didn't have any impact on anything. Somehow they made everything Luke, Leia und Han achived pointless. Somehow cloning was easily achievable with some dark powers and somehow Palpatine cloned himself and chilled for a few dozen years. Somehow Palpatine was a father and somehow Rei was his granddaughter.
Yes just like my Grandfather fought in WWII in vain because fascism has returned to our world.
Except the fact that evil can return doesn't actually mean opposing evil is in vain.
Also, you may be slightly not getting the point of Star Wars if you think that we're supposed to believe Anakin is the chosen one and everyone is supposed to respect his greatness. Yes this is what Anakin believed of himself, but how did that go for him?
Luke was meant to kill his evil father (or rule at his side), it was his destiny. Luke refused that destiny, how did that work out for him? Pretty good until the real evil Empire (the Disney Corporation) came along.
Star Wars isn't really about making prophecies come true. It's about rejecting them and finding a better way.
You're a Star Wars fan, you're meant to reject the fascist ideals of past greatness, not conform to them! Have a balanced take on Star Wars, not leave it in darkness!
I know from your point of view JJ Abrams is evil, But only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Counterpoint: several flashy videos on the Internet told me that space samurai wisard films are bad now because there is a mean woman there and no kinky costumes.