rockhstrongo

My wife doesn't like to be called madame, so I can her mad man. She actually prefers it.

I finally tried licking one recently, and it didn't taste like anything

Me the second I read this: FUCK. THAT. 😠

The last lending library I saw had some religious discs placed inside them. Expected them to be of the usual Christian variety. Oddly enough, it was actually of some rabbi.

I was under the impression that Judaism wasn't about proselytising. 🤷

Sounds like this brand name needs a new start.

A NEW START... Hmm...

I got it!

ANUSTART!

I wish I had teeth

Any minute now...

Yeah. "They shouldn't be above the law." works better.

Just before the pandemic, I was at a restaurant. A couple was sitting next to me.

Woman: (Says something about Fiona)

Man: Who's Fiona?

Woman: (Shocked, disgusted face) You don't KNOW Fiona????

I bet she broke up with him on the spot.

Me at the grocery store yesterday: "These cookies look delicious! And they're 90% off!"

Wife: "Those are lactation cookies..."

Me: "I didn't know that was a thing... They still look good though..."

That, or you'd get crushed alive since the car wasn't designed to actually protect you...

https://youtu.be/C_r5UJrxcck

People like this drive me crazy.