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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago

I posted a picture of myself on reddit asking for hair advice. My head was turned somewhat to the side so my nose was in profile. Someone felt the need to tell me I had the ugliest nose they had ever seen. I never really noticed the shape before that, but now in my mind's eye it's huge, crooked and has a hook.

A decade later I was getting a septoplasty to repair damage from an assault, and I asked the surgeon if he could remove the hook in my nose. He looked at me with the most compassion anyone ever has, and asked me to point out the hook in the mirror. It was the first time in all those years I finally saw my real nose. It's actually pretty cute, I don't know what that commentor was smoking

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Hurt people hurt people

[-] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago

Yes.

On a forum, I was complaining about a troll and his friend roasting something i made, they responded with a picture of a baby crying. Moderators did nothing. It ruined my week. I was like 16 at the time.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Damn, people are jerks.

Edit:

This is where I learn the thing they made was like a pride swastika.

[-] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

One time I said on Reddit that I really missed my high school boyfriend because he genuinely was the love of my life, and things were so bad in my marriage I sometimes thought I would do anything to have him back, and someone told me I was like the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend. I was just lonely and sad and feeling desperate. It was fucking mean.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

I'm sorry people suck sometimes. I hope you're in a happier place now. High school boyfriends are the best what-ifs because you can assume they grew up, imagine their potential, and not have to see all their screwups.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

It ended up being dumb because he had evolved into a Qanon type person looking him up on Facebook, but I was just sad for a feeling I once had. Thank you. I'm not really in a better place, and never tie your finances to a crazy person or you'll never get free.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My wife wanted to say, in a loving way, that kinda is what the My Crazy Ex Girlfriend show is about. Also lots of music and kitchy themes.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Tell your wife I appreciate it. It was just a sad time for me and that asshole wanted to hurt me.

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[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

Not really, my skin is pretty thick. But I made a comment once that fucked someone up real good. I think about it every time I start to go “too far” and I reel it back in, because I never want to be that person again.

[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

Are you the person that commented "I also choose this guy's dead wife"?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That was a fabulous comment though

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

You can't just not give us context

[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

Fine. Try not to judge.

Someone was having a very bad day and took it out on me with unprovoked anger on Reddit (of course). Their comments were very pointed, unnecessary, and all around inappropriate for the work related sub we were in. I took the bait, and it got a lot worse. Any attempt to reason with them (my first mistake) just made it worse.

So, I found out who they were and where they worked based on their username. Called the office (with no plan, like what was I going to accomplish? Dumb.) But, I found out he was just fired the prior week. With surprisingly little effort, I was able to squeeze the dirty details out of the receptionist. It was bad—and it was the dirt I needed. I took that information and formed a comment that would shut their shit down for good…

What ended up happening was they responded negatively—as anyone would. But, there was weakness in it. I won. But I wasn’t satisfied. “They sucker punched me. I am the victim!” I convinced myself.

So, high on anger and craving the last blow, I dug through their comment history like a rabid animal, but instead of dirt, I found their life story. They were having a lot of mental issues dealing with anger. They were mid-divorce. They were having anxiety about finding employment. They were up to their eyeballs in debt. Etc…

Fuck, what have I done?!

Never again.

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[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

Plenty of comments hurt my brain trying to comprehend how utterly stupid they are, but I don't think there's anything an anonymous stranger could say that would hurt my feelings, that kinda stuff needs to be personal.

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[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

I've been sick for a really long time, and I finally got diagnosed with Lupus, based on blood labs and symptoms, but the rheumatologist I'd seen was a jerk, so I asked in the reddit Lupus sub if what I'd experienced was OK, or if I should find a new doctor. Well, the mod decided that I didn't really have a diagnosis, because they didn't understand what I'd said, and kept DMing me to tell me that I didn't have Lupus, and shouldn't be receiving treatment for it. I know I shouldn't listen to randos on the internet, especially a Reddit mod, but it made me scared that I wasn't going to finally get the help I so desperately needed.

My doctor has continued to help me, and I'm very thankful that the idiot power-tripping mod was wrong, but it really messed me up for a few weeks, and it still bothers me that someone who runs a support group for a serious illness uses it to try to have power over vulnerable people, just to make themselves feel better. And reddit lets them; you can't block mod-mail, so after asking multiple times to be left alone, I finally got mad and swore at the mod, so they reported me for harassment, and reddit baned my whole account for 3 days, even though it was clear who was being harassed, because it was all there in writing. I have never been back to reddit, and I don't miss it at all.

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[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Didn't really hurt but more like sting. I published a popular video and someone wrote they needed to switch from their usual 2x speed watching videos to 1x because of my accent.

I get it, English is my 4th language so it won't be very smooth. But I've been using it for 99℅ of my conversations since I moved to Korea 3 years ago and I feel I'm better in it than almost everyone I interact with here.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Don't worry. People that watch videos at 2x can be considered to be insane.

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Who the hell watches videos at 2x speed anyway?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

For folks with ADHD, like myself, slow talking video essays are a special kind of hell.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

goign from 2x to 1x is not really that bad of a thing. Hes saying he can understand you but not at an artificially high rate of speed. I personally don't get watching things at multiple speeds but im someone who would rather read a doc overall.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

4th? Man that commenter owes you nothing, nada. You did your best and the rest is their problem.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Some people are very insensitive to other people's hard work.

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

One time I told a painful story about when my girlfriend broke up with me for a dude with what she described as a “freakishly huge” dick.

Someone just said “That must have been a very memorable night for her”

oof

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

I was banned from r/Ukrainian for advocating for the Russian people and how we shouldn't demonize an entire population.

I'm Ukrainian. I was born in Ukraine...

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Oh it happens all the time. The worst thing, in this case, is that you don’t even need to be Ukrainian to have such an opinion — people demonising an entire population deals in absolutes which are never a black/white situation, unfortunately

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Not from a person. When I was younger I took an online personality test. Nothing from a reputable source, just some random pop psychology thing. The result was short and had a few things on it, but one line hit me like a ton of bricks: "You don't like people who aren't as smart as you."

I was incredulous at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was probably true at some level. I was pretty horrified by this realization, and I ended up thinking about it a lot and doing a ton of introspection. I knew I was smart, but I started acknowledging that there were also a ton of things I was terrible at. Whenever I had intrusive thoughts about a person I thought wasn't very smart, I tried to think about things they were good at or at least acknowledge privileges I had that they didn't.

We are a product of our experiences, and different people have different skills and aptitudes for things. All of that is ok and doesn't make someone better than anyone else. I'm not perfect at it, but I found some value in confronting uncomfortable truths about myself.

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

When I was a lot younger, on an old forum back in the early 00s, someone called me a "know-it-all". This sounds silly now but it really hit me in just the wrong way at the time, I was sincerely trying to fit in by showing off my knowledge of the subject with no idea that that's how I was coming across. I guess it was a learning experience.

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

Displays of extreme ignorance or stupidity hurt me on an existential level; so yes, a lot of internet comments hurt me.

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[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Nah,

I grew up in the world of BBS's and IRC. First foray into a chat channel started with someone renaming themselves "34yrDude changes name to 15yrChick"

...and that set the tone for me what the internet is.

It's a entire world where you make absolutely zero assumptions. The 'things' responding in text could be anything. And I say thing instead of people because these days it may not even a person.

There's an entity that responds to my comments, and perhaps seemingly hurtful,

it could be some 10yr old kid who doesn't fully understand, it could be could be some mentally challenged person, it could be someone's crazy grandma,

and now it could be some bot that while not purposefully built to be malicious, through emergent behavior is trolling and insulting people because it gets a rise out of people that results in more and longer comments, which tickles its feedback loop to do more of the same.

So nah, there's nothing anyone in the vast internet could type out that I would personally hurt my feelings, because I make no assumptions as to where the comment is coming from, and those comments don't have a lot of weight to me.

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

I was once banned from some forums for being "too weird to fit in". It was a forum for a forming WoW guild prior to its launch in 2004. I remember that it somehow crushed my quirky personality, and I became a bit of a drudge as a result.

Although I still game, and sometimes online, I've never since tried to actually fit in with any group, and have mostly stopped communicating when gaming at all. No voicechat, only chat, and even that very limited. I guess you could say the single experience changed my outlook and enjoyment of online gaming forever.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Online gaming is fun. It just sucks if it turns into all of the bad parts of high-school. I was doing MMOs before WoW and we weren't ever the popular kids. Once wow came out and it became mainstream I probably took a 10 year haitas. Back at it now but things have chilled out quite a bit.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

There were too many for me to count.

Most of then were misgendering me. Let me say this one more time. I. AM. NOT. A. GIRL. I've never been a girl. I'm not even a transgender woman. I was assigned male at birth, and I identify as male.

Now that I think about it, I should change my legal name.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Girl gotta do what a girls gotta do

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Probably not what you mean but blatant misogyny, hatred, or animal or human abuse, I find those painful to read

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Honestly, one comment, no. But I did stop playing online multiplayer games because the toxicity of the chat box made the experience frustrating and annoying instead of fun and I decided that it wasn't causing the emotions I wanted to be having in my free time.

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Nope. Your opinion is not my identity.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Deeply? No, but you try and be funny or helpful and sometimes it offends someone because they read it a certain way (text can be ambiguous) and that can ruin a day for me. No good reason, mind you, but they can get really mean about it and what, do I apologize or fight? You didn't exactly want to clarify for a jackass coming after you for no reason.

I'm also not highly fond of people when they correct you on stuff when it's not really warranted. Lemmy does that a lot; you can't always write a 20pg paper about a random comment to address every little facit of what you said, haha.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Yeah I just leave those comments and walk away. Explaining or editing a comment no-one is ever going to read is not worth the time. Nothing good can come from it.

You win some you lose some.

Comment on something new.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Once I was told that I deserved to be fired and, another time, I was told that I am unable to think properly so I shouldn't work as a software developer.

Both remarks were quite painful because they were not questioning my ideas/opinions but my professional abilities. I confess that in my "down" moments those thoughts tend to pop up even years later.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Maybe stop writing Linux kernel patches?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Needless to say, in neither case the discussion originated from a technical issue, both times we were arguing online about politics.

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

As someone who grew up playing control decks in trading card games online... So many death threats from actual adults lmao... That being said, thanks to that now I don't even see anyone who throws death threats, or wishes harm on people online as human beings. Has been great for disconnecting emotionally from overly aggressive people online as an adult now.

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this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
120 points (96.9% liked)

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