this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

The fuck? How the fuck did that happen? I didn't even fucking ... That's not what I fucking wrote. Wtf? Fuck is this? Fuck this shit! Oh, fuck. Fucking mother fuck. Stupid fucking auto complete.

My roommates probably think this is a religious mantra by now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Don't forget the XKCD "WTFs per minute" review metric

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

God damnit! Who the fuck wrote this streaming pile of dog shit? Which ignorant fucktard has their head shoved so far up their ass that they would do something this stupid!?

Checks git blame

Ahhh fuck!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

checks git blame

~oh~ ~fuck~ ~you~ ~past~ ~self~

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

That asshole gets me every time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago

There better be some fucking profanity in the source

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm usually completely chill when I'm on the clock. When I write code for myself, that's when I feel personally attacked by my mistakes.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm the exact opposite: when I was still coding for work, that was when the curses flowed forth like a majestic waterfall, but I've always loved working on my own projects and don't mind adversity and mistakes at all

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I’m both, I say fuck all the time. I fuck on and off the clock.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago

A proper fucker

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

So basically programmers are pornstars?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Only the ones that work for the BBC

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Only in the BDSM subgenre

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It is the language of the machine spirit

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Just say your profanities aloud and don't let them make it to version control.

In the first major software system I designed and helped build I was a little too open in my comments. For years after that software had entered sunset I'd still get Slack pings along the lines of: "This looks like a Maximum Derek comment: ..." They were all diatribes about whatever was giving me grief when I was writing the code and they would all look perfectly at home in the script for 48 Hours (minus the racial or sexuality slurs).

In my defense we were working with PHP 5.3 at the time.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I grew up in a bit of a sketchy neighborhood and up until my mid 20's all my jobs were the sort where everybody cursed a lot, plus Finns tend to curse a lot in general.

I absolutely have not kept my cursing out of repositories, although looking at my last work project which had about 33000 lines all in all (maybe 2/3 written by me) when including comments, I was surprised to find it only 4 had "shits" and 6 "fucks". One line in an example & test file had both:

	zap.NewExample().Sugar().Errorw("welp, shit's fucked",
		"IsBadRequest", IsBadRequest(err),
		Field(err))

and then there's some comments like

// - turn the unsafe.Pointer into a *[8]byte, allowed due to unsafe pointer fuckery

// FIXME: this is just to make cli tool usage easier. It's a horrible fucking hack and should be
//  nuked from orbit

// FIXME: get rid of all this gorilla legacy bullshit. Could start by getting rid of the needless
// Interface type