this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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top 24 comments
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Is penis a valid substitute or would I need to take any supplements?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

I got your back. Chow down on some erect tissue. Grab it with both hands (if you can).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Both is good.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Is the chart legitimate at all sans the vagina joke?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago

The vagina joke is the most legitimate part of this chart.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

how reliable do you think herbs-info.com is?

(the answer is probably: not very)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The first thing it tells you to eat is raw cocoa beans. I don't think you should.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

you cant stop me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Bro it's very real. Can't you see the scholarly citation?

Source: coaching and weight management.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

As a doctor, I can say with 100% certainty that the chart below is completely incorrect. Your craves sweet because it is low on energy 5 different metals

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No. Unless you hate life. The extra 5 years this will expand your life will be at the end, when you're feeling your worst and ready to die anyway.

Or: you could enjoy your life while you're young enough to, and in your prime, and much off maybe a couple of years earlier thereby avoiding those extra years you'd spend wishing you were dead.

Anyway, except in extreme cases, like obesity or diabetes, genetics play a larger role in your lifestyle and quality of life at the end than any lifestyle choices. Your job is mainly to avoid being a complete fat, unfit lard-ass; do that, and if you'll likely live as long as the average male in your family tree did.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The extra 5 years this will expand your life will be at the end, when you're feeling your worst and ready to die anyway.

The difference between growing old sickly or in good health is huge. You don't just lose the shitty 5 years, you make those before much more miserable too.

It's not sugar or ultra-processed foods that make living worthwhile. You're just addicted to them right now.

The original chart is trash anyway.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've lived long enough to have spend years on diets, some of which eliminated simple sugars, including all alcohol. The South Beach diet is almost entirely hand-made meals, many of which are some variation salad.

I can bear anything for a couple of months, so the first couple weren't bad, but the ism of "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" kept me with it for two years. After the first couple of months, I started to hate food. I hated every one of those damned meals. They took a lot of time to prepare, and it was some of the worst food. Like I said, I kept with it for 24 months, but one day I decided that it wasn't worth it; that I'd literally rather die than continue to consume Food Units.

In time, I've found other ways to manage my weight, which is the only reason I worry about this stuff. The men (and some women) in my family die from strokes. That's what's going to get me, not diabetes, heart attack, or any other diet-related morbidity. As long as I can stay comfortable with my weight - which I can - enjoying food is far more important than consuming raw vegetables or whatever horrid suggestion people are making.

Doritos taste fucking awesome. It's why they're popular. Swiss Rolls taste like god-damned ambrosia. They're why there are so many diabetics in the US. Nobody is holding people down and stuffing fried chicken in their mouths; people eat because it tastes fantastic.

"Addicted" my ass. The food tastes great.

You eating only carrots your whole life isn't going to stop you getting Alzheimer's or dementia, or from having an aneurism. And statistically, if your diet doesn't lead to obesity, your diet isn't going to measurably impact your quality of life, except that you're going to spend most of your life eating food that tastes like crap.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I'm not the food police, eat what you want. But it's just not true that by consuming crap you "only" shorten your lifespan and the living years aren't affected by it.

"Addicted" my ass. The food tastes great.

Nope, addiction to highly processed food is a thing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7750273/

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

apparently you basically only need nuts. and possibly a vagina.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I got deez nuts, now gibbe da pussi plz

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

Craving carbs? Nah, you just need nitrogen. Just breathe some air, bro.

What even is that chart?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It says vagina, but they really want us to eat nuts.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The question then becomes, which nuts?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Some vaginas have nuts, so you can eat both

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Where's cock and ass?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

No homo but I also like cock. I Iove the sensation of a big throbbing cock in my mouth as it jizzes out cum down my throat. It's all part of a balanced diet.