this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

This is some next-level chaos.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

And bits of dried pizza cheese.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't change your underwear for two days.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

I'm proud of you.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago

Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.

LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

He said he only had a weekend though.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."

We are not the same meme

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Again, Factorio

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes I’m a cop

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.

Edit:

bout to get wild

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What about the sink I poop in?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Waffle stomp!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Cleaning that up is gonna be work.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

You guys are amazing

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like a good time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No one has ever been more correct.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

A strong few years of devoted, in-depth field research on the subject yielded this insight and…not much else. Still trying to get published, maybe in High Times Investigative Quarterly (they’re an academic outfit, right?)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

grind leetcode

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Have you thought of lipstick and nail polish?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Truest statement.

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