The last Goth girl who I thought was gonna sacrifice me ended up just telling me she only liked me as a friend, not as a human sacrifice. Thats life I suppose.
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
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The real sacrifices are the friendzones we make along the way.
Shit that's worse. Let me bleed to death in peace.
In a way, she did rip your heart out; just not the way you thought
Tragic
I was out for a meal with friends just before the pandemic, waitress was a heart-stoppingly beautiful goth lady. I'd had a few drinks and blurted out "Oh my gosh, I would sacrifice my firstborn to you"... without skipping a beat she replied "Deal". Legendary response to a drunken fool.
ill make that trade
good idea i’ll wait around here, things might get sexy afterwards
Hot goth gf and I get to die? Win-win
Better to be a human sacrifice to a cute spooky girl than a boring tech bro.
If imma go out, a sexy goth girl sacrificing me is a pretty damn good way to go.
Saint Peter like "damn dude, come on in, fucking legend, bar is on the right, tell Gabriel to pour one for ya on me"
Well, let's compare our options here, shall we? We realistically have.two ways to leave this world:
- Hospital (chosen by most or chosen for most by others)
- gloomy hot goth girl murder dungeon
If we look at number two which is not the immediate choice for most I think, at least you go out with black candles, pentagrams, music that is somehow too techno and groovy and too emo at the same time and gargoyles and dragons made from black coated epoxy resin all around you, perhaps even with a bit of naughty time.
That's preferable to the bland white room with lots of tubes that go into your natural bodily orifices or have orifices specifically created for them, isn't it?
Tie me to a bed, tape a bag over my head, and snuggle with me as I tremble and twitch and tell me it's ok 👀
That's preferable to the bland white room with lots of tubes that go into your natural bodily orifices or have orifices specifically created for them, isn't it?
Weeeeeelllll a bit of imagination can take you a long way… let me get a toolbox.
As the kids say, worth.
Whatever gets me out of work
Wait, is that pizza AND garlic bread?!?
Why is that noteworthy? Is it not a common side order?
The joke: the implication that if it were just pizza, the warning would be heeded, however since she has pizza AND garlic bread, it might be worth it.
I'm dumb
Either that or you just don't like garlic bread. Or both.
Nah, I'm just used to garlic bread memes.
"Might"? I think you mean is.
As long as I ghost her before All Hallows Eve I should be fine.
But what if she's already ghosted you by then? 👻
Death by snu snu!
At least someone feels something about me
I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit.
Thankfully the hot goth girls I’ve met usually want me to assist in sacrificing, so I should be safe
I'm always asked to lie down on the ground, so I don't even need to do any work!
Yeah I had a hot goth girl walk up to me at a concert just a couple days ago and just say yes or no? I said no. I'm also the faithful married type but I'm not convinced all that girl was asking was for sex.
worth it
Is it at least a sacrifice in the manner of Far Cry 3?
NO
Spooky!
At this point I am willing to make a sacrifice, sorry, "to be part of a sacrifice" I meant.
Pizza Pi●za Pizza
Ooh, sacrifice as in "I'll kill you for your blood", not as in "Ew, I hate Tiger but I'll date him once". Got it.
I wish sweaty nerds on the internet would stop with the "OMG goth girls!!!!" Obsession, it's creepy as fuck.