Asklemmy

Dude.

I'm a dude. He's a dude, She's a dude. We're all dudes.

"Guys" is gender neutral already...

• cousins

• friends

• y'all

• neighbors

• folks

• party party people

• fellow-travellers

and, of course

• fam

for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"

Is buddy really a problem?

I'd be more worried that someone thinks I'm treating them like a dog, than a man.

Guys is 100% gender neutral.

Also, can't go wrong with the old standby "Stay Fresh, Cheesebags!"

You're asking about a collective and also a singular...

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".

When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.

"What is up, my mammals?"

English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.

I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.

Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.

Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.

Fellow Earthlings

I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.

Dipshits

Fellow humans

Fellow bipedal meat-things.

"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.

I just omit the unnecessary words or use their name. That works OK, although I'm awful with names so usually it just becomes "Good job!" or "What's up?".

Funny story time: in English I find this is not so bad. In French it's worse. In Vietnamese it's awful. We have dozens of pronouns. They're not only mostly gendered, but contain information about their age and perceived status relative to you. It's a 3-dimensional matrix where the axes are approximately gender, age/hierarchy, and degree of relation (inlaws/blood relations/strangers). You even get a different word for yourself in some of these situations. Then sometimes there's a numerical rank inside each pronoun e.g. male uncle, my spouse's family, 3rd oldest.

The language is already at maximum pronoun burden. Honestly it would just be easier if we called each other 'human' or 'comrade' or 'citizen' or something equally encompassing. It's exhausting as a non-native speaker (and you are not ever allowed to use their names, that's considered super rude).

Greetings, Programs!

Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.

Later Cheesebags!

My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".

"Hey people, how's it going?"

That works for me

Comrade

My darlings, tell me everything.