https://spacebar.chat/ looks like it will eventually be good, it looks like it's in its infancy right now though
this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2025
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What are your thoughts on xmpp? Recently I have come to like a lot and am pretty active with friends there.
There are people using xmpp? Last time I set up a server and tried using it with Pidgin, I couldn't find a soul that used it
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Avoid Revolt as there moderation is questionable
Wym moderation? Aren't you moderating your own server?
There is a single instance everyone is on
Ah ok, yeah in that case yes. Only solution to this would be federation. But matrix is nowhere there yet in terms of normie usability.
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If you're self hosting, it's Revolt. But the default instance limits you to 20mb or something for files, which is a problem for me, personally.
Revolt is also an annoyance to self host and the apps don’t support self hosted instances without you rebuilding them because the server is hardcoded.
Why even give the option then lmao
That’s just it, it isn’t an option
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Element/matrix all the way
if you want something that looks like discord there are themes for the clients, there's even commet.chat for a discord like experience (but they haven't added calls yet)
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Its been a while since I used Revolt, I use element everyday. But I'd prefer something more "third party" too. Revolt was servicable back in 2020, maybe it has gotten better?