Now they can hear me scream “shut the fuck up Alexa!!!!” every time she says “…by the way…” when I just want to know what time it is.
this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
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Me while cooking mac and cheese for the kids:
"Echo, set timer for 8 minutes"
Echo: "GOOD EVENING [me], SETTING TIMER FOR 8 MINUTES"
No, shut the fuck up and just set the goddamn timer without the extra fluff. I've seen Ex Machina, I know you have no empathy, so knock off the "nice" shit and do what I fucking ask without anything else.
There are a few settings that make it better. Like enabling "brief mode" or something like that
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Say this: "Alexa, disable by the way"
"Alexa, from now on, call me 'Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati'."
Wait hold on
I wonder if I can get the Google assistant British lady to call me that
Edit: Lmfao it works
In the age of techno-fascism, the people willingly pay to install the listening devices into their own homes.
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My family has one in most rooms of our house...ugh
Which Echo devices ever supported local only processing? They cost about £30. There's no kit that can do decent voice commands for that money. You'd be lucky to have a device that processes claps to turn the lights on for that.
I honestly have no idea why anyone who cares even 1% about their privacy would have ever bought one of these abominations in the first place. If I ever receive one as a gift I will burn it with fire.
I have the things so that I can understand how to protect myself from them. I have a similar thing going on with AI video right now. Hate it but watch the growth to understand it.
Better yet, crack it open and find a way to load alternative firmware onto it
Amazon employee with no piss breaks listening in on my echo:
"How many fucking cats does this guy have? Just chose one name and call it that!"
Edit: "I don't know Jeff, sell him a fucking dr seuss book or something the guys mental."
Always listening AI. I always thought the future would be awesome but capitalism has figured out a way for it to not be that.
The part that really gets me is that you have to opt out to not have everything you say saved. Bonkers that that isn't the default! There's no good user-based reason for this. Alexa doesn't remember shit for users, like any AI there's no recall feature. You can't say remember what I told you last night - give the address for that place, I was drunk and don't remember the name.
And people wonder why I never bought any of these kinds of things.