this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
33 points (71.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26890 readers
1991 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm sure there are other groups that do it too, but I've noticed it most often from christian apologists, probably in part case I like listening to debates/discussions with them from atheist youtubers, but I've also noticed it talking to christians myself.

It always feels super weird to me, but that's also coming from someone who feels weird with eye contact and saying other peoples names, so maybe it's just me. Has anybody else noticed it, or are there other people you've noticed that do that? Does it seem weird to you?

all 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 63 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Technique to build familiarity. Obviously doesn’t work on everyone but for those it does it’s quite effective

Literally anyone that’s trying to sell you something whether it’s a product, service or ideology is likely to use it if it may increase their chance of success.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

If at any point someone keeps using my name in casual conversation with me, I get increadibly uncomfortable and suspicious about their motives.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

More often this is not the case at all. Constantly repeated someone's name more often than necessary can be a form of patronizing condescension. This would also make much more sense in OPs context of a Christian apologist condescending to a non believer.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I can see how what you and I described may seem different but it’s in reducing the concept I described to absurdity that derives what you’re talking about. Because it’s true, people use familiarity as an attempt to undermine another. I try to emphasize the good in life but it’s important to recognize that it’s not all roses and rainbows, it’s shit and dirt too.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Aside from it being a sales tactic, it's also just a strategy to memorize people's names. I use it often because I'm trying to be friendly, and I have slight face blindness.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ironically I work in sales and rarely use names. I am shit with names.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

OK, but how are you with sales?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Very good. Just funny it's a common sales tactic that I don't do because I can't remember names

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I want to take your course.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago

I teach new hires to my team on sales tactics. My background is in psychiatry/psychology.

It all boils down to being legit. Be you. Don't be fake. Don't lie.

Based on sales I typically outsell my peers 4:1. When I say a customer is a friend, that means we are friends.

After COVID people are looking for more authentic relationships. The dynamics have changed. They don't want the fake sales person who just takes them to dinner. They want someone that has a real relationship with people, they enjoy spending time with and they trust.

The social isolation has caused people to seek true connections when they spend time with people.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think you’re just listening to that group a lot? If you go to a sales event or an expo people will say your name and make eye contact. It’s really normal behavior that in a normal situation you don’t need to over analyze but it is being amplified in those situations

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I mean among friends and coworkers people will definitely call each other by name, and that does still feel weird but not nearly as much. The frequency they use names is just way less and the tone/attitude is different

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Sounds like you’d think this was weird in any situation so why are you even asking the question? If you’re going to show respect to someone, you use their name. It’s also a sales tactic to show that you’re paying attention to them and took note of their name when they said it. It makes people more comfortable when you’re personable with them. At least the majority of people. I know everyone’s scared these days to even answer an unknown phone number.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

The level of weird it feels to me is pretty different.

When friends do it, and it's so infrequent, it's like a very small feeling, and the majority of the weirdness feeling actually comes from me thinking about how I almost never call people by their name, and I'm probably the weird one, and maybe I should make an effort to do it more.

When I see it being done a lot in one conversation it's a big feeling, and as other people have pointed out, I think a big chunk of the weirdness vibe I get is from the technique being used in a condescending way. And then each time it happens in the same conversation the weird feeling feeds into and amplifies itself, which is what ended up pushing me to ask

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's a sales technique, when someone calls your name often, your brain is fooled to consider the person closer than they really are, making you a little more likely to buy the product/idea they're selling. Not effective on its own, but you can be 100% sure it's not the only technique they're using on you and all the small bits add up eventually.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I’m definitely not one this works on. It just turns me off and makes me a lot less likely to trust you. I read through that BS pretty quickly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Neuro linguistic programming.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I am an atheist and I often call my friends by their name when I app them. It's just a form of respect for their person imo. I am not the 'hey bro!’ type of guy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Isa 43:1:

But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

I don't think that's the reason, just an association I had

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Keep my name outcha mouf!