this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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TBH this sounds like something that Hotel Transylvania VII would cover when the family decides to go on a vacation to Atlantis and Drac somehow ends up with Neptune's trident and commands all the ocean animals.
And naturally, starts and undersea monster hotel.
Don't cheapen the Dracula/dolphin idea like that.
I know everyone is hoping for a "Free Willie" moment instead, but with the risk tolerance in Hollywood these days we'd be lucky to get HTVII.
Searching "Vampire Dolphin movie" lead me to this wild plot synopsis for a movie called Reflecting Skin
"The film opens with Seth and his friends, Eben and Kim, playing with a frog Seth has found in the fields. The boys inflate the frog by inserting a reed up its anus and leave it by the side of the road. When a local English widow, Dolphin Blue, stops to inspect it, Seth shoots the inflated frog with a slingshot, causing it to explode over Dolphin. "
According to the plot, they suspect Dolphin of being a vampire. So close...
One thing that comes up in the original book is dracula is apparently a really good cook but in some lore the can't really eat food so I like the idea of dracula learning to cook then just tossing out the rest of the dish once he's satisfied
What kind of monster stacks pizzas like that?!
A vampire.
Lasagna pizza
That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Firstly an aristocrat in the late 1800s, especially one who had been around for a long time, would not cook their own food, that's servant work. Secondly, vampires don't generally gain sustenance from food, so why would he care? Finally, if this dude can't eat garlic I question his ability to make tasty food
I think it was a a curry but I could be totally since it's been a while and at that point in the book he was telling johnathan that he lived alone so he at least wanted him to believe that he cooked it
I've only seen the 1931 movie but didn't he have Renfield as a servant? Plus he had help when he traveled from Transylvania to London. So it still doesn't make sense to me
I'm pretty sure renfield doesn't show up till london as he's in a psych ward there and it was johnathon's job to set up the buying of a heart plus the trip to london
Vampire dolphins?
This is only logical conclusion.
Now we're talking!
volphins, if you will
o0o i know... vampire falls into ocean where its saved, and subsequently raped by a dolphin. this turns the dolphin into a vampire where they both die the next morning when the sun rises and theres no shade anywhere. the end.
Someone call A24!
o0o0 alt ending!
:: vampire and vampire dolphin dont die, because now they dont need to breathe, they can swim to the bottom of the ocean and live happily ever after in the depths!
What's the aquatic equivalent of a bat? Maybe vampire dolphin could transform into a school of smaller fish at will to squeeze through tight spaces or evade threats.
Vampire hunters could show up with cross-shaped wooden harpoons, holy water depth charges, garlic oil hoses and all kinds of other nautical twists on the usual weapons.
o0o0 i love the idea of dolphin vampire turning into something... eels?
What’s the aquatic equivalent of a bat?
Vampires can't cross running water, and they don't seem to do well on the ocean, either. Their options for meeting dolphins are relatively limited.
You just lack imagination! Dolphracula is going to be the next Barbenheimer!
Bat-ten down the hatches this summer for Dracula & Dolphy: Suck and Blow!
In a world, one man, older than time immortal. One ocean, with creatures from the deep blue aybss. This summer, experience a heart-warming tale of love, mystery and cold-blooded horror of: Count Flipper.
Dolphula - Dracula played by Dolph Lundgren, humanity has died out so dracula chooses the next species to turn into vampires... dolphins! Obligatory Vampire dolphin orgie scene with Dolph in the middle.
Now, here's the twist, and there is a twist. We show it. We show all of it. Full penetration.