this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Anon learns to love the bath bomb (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
76 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I am currently on month 6 of not calling the dentist about a painful tooth

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Not the flex you think it is lol

Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah I was mostly joking. With a bit of good advice sprinkled on top

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

And miss out on all this!? *gestures wildly at everything*

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

It doesn't seem like they were trying to flex

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once.. 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.

Fun times :/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you broke your tooth on a pizza crust, there was definitely something wrong with that pizza!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that's just Houston style pizza or some shit and it's supposed to be like that (also it's a cube, don't worry about it)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn't kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

4 days... I've been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Rite* of passage

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Write-off passage

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

some of ye all were just highly regarded

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (20 children)

That's pretty retarded.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

How I feel reading 90% of the stories how anons go through their days.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Also, anon is autistic.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Had to do x km/day on the static bike, because fat.

Got no time for that.

Old static bike, with mechanical revolution counter.

Unscrew spinning cable that feeds from the bike into the counter.

MacGyver Lego contraption, with motor, with a pointy bit that fits where the cable would go.

Motor goes brrr, do required km in seconds, plug cable back in, rinse and repeat;, parents never find out (I "exercised" while they were working).

Still fat. 😞

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

God I was a pig headed, grubby little preteen I relate to this in spirit so hard.

Pushing boundaries by never doing exactly what you're told: always put your own idiotic spin on it, or else the adults win!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.

My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.

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