Asklemmy

i like to remind her every time her phone rings that its likely, for her.

"you should get that, i think thats for you" x 17 years

Whenever she sneezes I'll give the first one a "Bless you" and the second something like

"Oh GROSS! Can you take that outside?"

"Babe we talked already, I'm not into your kink, stop iniaiting like that"

"Jesus anything for attention with you...."

It's now at the point where when she starts we are both glaring and smirking at each other.

Not recently, but this is one I'm particularly proud of. She texted me to complain that she was music-less in the office because her MP3 player failed.

Well of course I phoned and was able to sing one line about never giving her up before she hung up the call.

Whenever she tells me she's going to do something I react "Hey honey, you should go and do something."

"I'm going to the store to get some milk"

"You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk"

"I'm going to wash some pants."

"Honey, I think maybe you should wash some pants."

I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state "you're a very useful girlfriend".

I only do it a couple times a year at most.

The look of disdain is priceless.

She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.

"What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!"

Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.

Too much fun.

Sometimes when she tells me she’s going to do… anything, really, I just say something along the lines of “no”, “out of the question” or “you’re not allowed to do that”. Almost 15 years later, it didn’t get old - for me! - yet. As for her, I think at this point she just tuned out these things hahaha

I do that with everyone that tells me "I'm going to the bathroom"

I reply with "Good luck! 👍"

I do at least two things that she pretends to hate, but definitely does not.

1. When discussing something I always reply this way:

• Her: Come on, say something.
• Me: Something.

2. When she needs to do something in the future:

• Her: Remind me, that I have to buy milk tomorrow.
• Me: instantly You know, you have to buy milk tomorrow.

When I leave her, just to go to the bathroom, or to the store or leave her in the car while I go into the store, I'll say, "See you tomorrow" x 15 yrs

Everytime someone sneezed, and she says "Gesundheit", I quietly ask her, "Did you just say Kazoo Tight?".

Texted my wife to tell her I was heading to a mate's place for "a dip in the pool and some pizza", then followed up with a texted stream of consciousness, one line at a time, about how I was planning to eat the pizza - not dip in it, then pondering what dip on pizza would be like, followed be weighing up the pros and cons of about 4 or 5 different dips on pizza, and the different pizzas they might work on.

It took about 7 or 8 messages before I got her eyeroll response. Worth it.

You guys are so adorable I love this. Almost makes me wish I had a relationship

I sneak up behind her and give her "tiger rubs", which is aggressive up & down motion on the ribs & side meat.

She loves it x20 years

Whenever I let out a big fart close to her I say her name out loud in a surprised tone accompanied by “that’s absolutely disgusting!” and she eye rolls immediately lol

Intentionally using the wrong ligger/lægger (lie/put down, in danish) in a text to my SO. She lovingly annoyed me back by intentionally not noticing it.

Inappropriate nicknames. Wait for her to do something slightly embarrassing, make a nickname out of it, then strategically use it in awkward situations.

My current frontrunners are "Whisp-a-doody", "FUPA-diaper", and "Dumptruck full o' dead cows".

That last one isn't anything she did, but something we both witnessed that really upset her.

She squirms when I gently mess with the little ringlets of hair on the back of her neck. It’s cute.

I'm single, so I have to settle to annoying everyone else around me by pretending like I'm going to start talking about politics

Works every time

oh baby baby

I no longer say these because of reasons...

"why do we argue so much when we both know you are wrong"?

"if you promise to love me forever then I promise to let you love me forever".

Her aim has improved alot during this marriage.

Unprompted, I make a weird "surprise" face that freaks him out for some reason.

My wife saw a charcuterie board and under her breath said "charcussy". I have been repeating that basically every day to her since.

Mine is finding a picture of an animal with its rear end towards the camera, and then saying "hey, guess what?" to her and when she says "what?" I show her the picture and say "Bunny* butt!"

*or kitty, doggy, etc

I have a Mickey Mouse impression. A very, very vulgar Mickey Mouse impression.

Dad jokes. She not-so-secretly loves them, but always likes to give me an eyeroll.

I will ask if she wants a drink, then request she makes me one too when she says yes.

I never offered to make it, only asked if she WANTED one.

I will then go make her a drink of course, and I'm not sure she's ever found it funny, but I'm amused.

She hates the USA southern accent. While I grew up in a midwestern family, we spent some years in Tennessee when I was a kid. I pulled a hard southern accent on her yesterday. For like twenty seconds.