This just barely qualifies as not the Onion
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
196 points (97.1% liked)
Not The Onion
12543 readers
1443 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Pay attention to me! Ignore Luigi and Elon. I'm the news! I will have order!
Hey Panama, it ain’t right that you’re charging people to use the Panama Canal. Give it to me so I can gouge the fuck out of it, including US shipping companies.
Unless they’re prepared to tickle my saggy balks of course, then they get friends and family discount.
take-backsies as the basis for foreign policy
Panama has not yet responded to his statements.
Hopefully they just ignore him. And hopefully other countries start doing that too.
No government ahould be compelled to respond to Truth Social posts.
No civilized person should be compelled to listen to Trump's whiny gob.
Yeah, best case scenario is that the rest of the world starts to consciously uncouple from the US, taking away the ability of the incoming fascist government to strongarm "allies" into doing and saying everything they want or suffer financial and diplomatic ruin.
It's already happening. If Trump attempts to go Neville Chamberlain on Ukraine, the Europeans (at least a large group of them) are willing to tell him to fuck off.
Hopefully. Time will tell.
They could do something really funny and double it.
They probably can't afford to double the fees for everyone, their canal would be out of business. But double the fees only for American-flagged vessels might be feasible.
It's my understanding the canal is already almost out of business because they don't have enough water. They limit travel through the canal to avoid emptying Lake Gatun.
You could argue they need to raise prices, both to account for the natural resource degradation and to reduce congestion to a sustainable level
As long as the fees as still lower than the cost to go around South America, I'm sure they'll still have business.
Until global warming makes the northwest passage practical, anyway.
How much global temperature increase would we need for that route to be viable? Have there been any research on this?
You bet there's been research on the northwest passage by every shipping and oil company with enough money to spend on research. A brand new shortcut around the world is the dream.
In other words: he was playing golf with some shipping magnate who complained about the high fees.
Nah, he's just trying to give Russia and China justifications to take back Taiwan and Alaska
Or there was a segment on Fox News.
Or Elon was trying to sound smart
There's a theory around that Elon even wrote the post.
https://bsky.app/profile/philco.bsky.social/post/3ldu7wfsr6k2g
Sir, do you have the original receipt?
Probably not, since the US essentially stole it.
US wanted to build a canal. The place they wanted to build it was part of Colombia. US backs a secession of the Central American portion of Columbia, creating the nation of Panama. Panama grants the US a 99-year lease on the Canal Zone. US builds canal.
Panama should respond,
"In response to Trump's statement, Panama will talk with Putin about the possibility of a Russian military base to be built in Panama to safeguard free trade from interference from President Trump."
Trump can't get angry at his daddy Putin.
I hate Putin but God please this happen because it would he so funny
Interesting, the fees can almost be directly compared to his tariffs, as in its a government mandated fee on top of goods/ships crossing the border/canal.... and Trump does not like them 😅
Starmer should demand that Trump either drop the proposed tariffs or give New England back 😄
...as a lifelong New Englander, I'm not sure if I want to root for or against that proposal! (pre-Brexit it would have been a no-brainer; I'd love to be part of the EU)
Why should anybody care about what you, a resident of the place thinks? This is how trump operates also: not caring about the residents or the people impacted.
Everybody laughing at this guy, but actual real people, and families, that are alive today, won't be this time next year, because of the insane shit Trump and his cadre of incompetents will foist on the world with their purposefully unworkable foreign policies. You don't do this, or nominate any of Trumps barrel bottoms in the first place, if you want a functioning ChristoFascist government, you do this because you want to get away with something else while everyone is distracted.
I think it's time to start blocking news about US politics.
An empty feed, eh?
Would recommend it. Much better than having your brain rot away at a massively increased pace for the next four years.
Burying your head in the sand is technically a strategy
Out of all the things I posted, that I thought you were replying to, I thought you were replying to my post that smith & wesson was about to benefit massively from the brain drain that the USA is about to experience over the next 4 years. With the implication of my joke being suicide. Then I read you reccomending it, and I full on belly laughed until I realized you were replying to a completely different comment. I thought you were going even more dark joke than I was......and I was STARTING the bar at suicide. I was like "GOD DAMN!!! This dude is even more depraved than I am! I love it!"
And for anyone out there getting worried......I mean........
.....yeah, I don't have a comfortable end to that sentence. This world is getting dark. The next 4 years are going to be bad. Real bad.
The asshole isn't president yet and the extortions and shakedowns have already started
The US has elected Beavis and Butt-Head.
Beavis and Butthead had more charm.
Just double the fees for all US shipping for the next four years.
Someone should convince him that it's a good idea to just build a canal through the US.
All you have to do is turn the nozzle up their near Canada somewhere and the fresh water will from from coast to coast..... You could do it in a day
Yeah, but then he's going to want to build another wall...
Tell him it's like some kind of water border, like a moat. Immigrants can't swim across water.
I just was on youtube watching last nights weekend update. They have a yearly christmas time tradition where Colin Jost and Micheal Che write each others jokes in an attempt to roast each other on air. They don't show each other the jokes until they're live on the air.
Micheal Che has a running gag of making Colin say the most offensive racist jokes to make Colin look bad for saying it, then cut to Micheal looking mock offended for saying such outlandish things.
It is EXCEPTIONAL, and this years version may be the most brutal edition yet.
Anyways, this all ties into your comment, because my brain was still in the mentality of that segment when I read your comment, and I instantly read it as Colin Jost.
Tell him it’s like some kind of water border, like a moat. Immigrants can’t swim across water.....especially the ones from Africa.
cut to Micheal Che
"Colin! I can't believe you would write that joke for yourself speaking your own true feelings!"
Last nights version was so brutal, Colin started off by saying "Before we get started, I don't know what I'm about to say, but I appologize in advance!"
And hooooooboy.
Back when the atom bomb was still new, people dreamed how easy it would make earthworks.
The US still has thousands of nuclear warheads…
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
view more: next ›