this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
975 points (98.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

6037 readers
2940 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 183 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

It aint a blog meme without a useless comment at the bottom

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But if we didn't have a reaction included in the post, how would we know how we're meant to feel?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just realized blog-meme-commentary are functionally equivalent to sitcom laugh tracks.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

You're so right.^it's me, I'm the commentary^

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Of course I'm not watching this 1m20s video without a webcam of an obnoxious guy wearing a spiderman outfit yelling in the corner of the screen.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m not watching this 30 se*ond video without subway surfers gameplay

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I choked on my uselessness.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Bonus points if it's Xavier.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

This is bullshit because no bloke has ever mumbled a word in a dunny block.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No one has ever offered to play battle shits with you?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

It's a solo game unless you are in the special competitive pvp stalls

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Your use of "bloke" implies you're in the UK, so perhaps it's just manners... But as someone who has worked in a large, multi-cultural office in the US, it is definitely a cultural thing. There are some people that have no problem chatting on the phone at full volume, in an echo-y stall, while audibly shitting. And I mean audibly lol.

I have had one experience where I was sitting in the middle stall, of three, between two people who were having a full-on conversation back and forth over me. I kept like clearing my throat just in case maybe they didn't realize someone was there... Nope, they just didn't care lol.

Just the thought of behaving like that is mortifying to me lol, especially in an office where I have to then interact with those people...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I'm an Aussie. Same king, different colony :P

Crosstalk while trying to dump a load sounds horrendous.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There are some people that have no problem chatting on the phone at full volume, in an echo-y stall, while audibly shitting. And I mean audibly lol.

I experienced that in New Jersey once. A man was speaking Spanish, presumably while on the phone. And he was very audibly taking a shit. He even continued talking while straining to push the poop out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I've seen this mostly for couriers or workers who are actively monitored and don't have time for themselves

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I kind of get that. But I still feel it would be incredibly rude if someone called me and I could hear them on the shitter. But that's my personal sensibility.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I've talked on the shitter. I heard someone dying and asked if they needed help, they never replied, just did up their belt and fled in panic. Never again!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

I rather die alone on a toilet than talk while pooping. I'd flee too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yep. Heard a coworker vomiting her guts out in the accessible stall and I asked if she needed help. Turns out she was just having morning sickness.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A few months ago I went to a steakhouse with some friends and learned that 3 ladies from the wedding party in the party room had had too much to drink and were sharing a stall (small bathroom with only 2 stalls) puking their guts out for a solid 20 minutes straight. As we paid and left we saw the paramedics arrive to escort the ladies off of the premises and an employee poised and ready with cleaning supplies to begin cleaning up the wreckage their stomachs had wrought upon the porcelain.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Some of those who shake cocktails...
Are the same that clean stall spills...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

LOL oh man this story is so funny to me. I'm picturing it from both people's points of view and its hilarious either way.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The urinals didn't tip her off?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I've been in men's room recently that didn't have urinals in view when I walked in. Which did give me a slight panic for a moment that I had walked into the wrong door.

I opened the first stall door, and there was the urinal. Interesting.

They had also adopted the European style of floor to ceiling stalls and stall doors. It was actually a very nice experience.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Common European W

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

The stall only contained a urinal? What happens if you need to take a shit?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

You don't use that stall. What happens if you have to shit at any given time, go looking for urinals?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a bit weird though yeah, especially if you are waiting in line for that stall to open and only when entering discover it's not going to suffice your needs.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah they should label it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

There were multiple stalls

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe the guy sitting next to her was in the wrong bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

chooooooooke on the water~

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

snack pack in disguise…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Hand dryers in the skyyy

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I like that the response from guys isn't "a woman?! In MY bathroom?!?!" But "who tf talks in the bathroom?!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Something that definitely happened

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

And all the guys at the urinals cheered, and bumped hips whilst continuing to pee

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Who the are these people talking in the stalls. I be worried someone would try and kick my ass. I've seen people go ape shit if you disturb them during a shit in public.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I once had a friend of mine go into the stall next to mine and loudly declare that we were "pooping buddies"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know about being mad, but if a coworker tries to talk to me in the restroom regardless of specifics they immediately go on my "perhaps has body in basement" list. Usually it's the Cxx people...who are sociopaths. So the math works out.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I only know that some people use CXX as extension for their C++ (programming language) files, but I don't think that's what you meant

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That was my first reaction as well, but probably C-suite people, like CEO, CFO, etc.? (I say "etc." here bc I can't think of any more:-P)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Y'all nerding out on here about the gnu compiler tool chain but don't have a chief technical officer? :p

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

All of my coworkers, they will just strike up work combo.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Yep. Savin' that one

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I hate that I laughed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

you're both liars

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Who is drinking water is a toilet stall? Don't ya'll know the little poo particles go in there?

load more comments
view more: next ›