this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 10 months ago (1 children)

famous examples of this in my family include “lava mountain” for volcano and “lamp hat” for lamp shade

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is your family bilingual or multilingual? I find that I do that type of translation between languages and it gets lost in translation.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

no, just forgetful lol

[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I would expect some vodka in a drink like that.

Alternate take: I'll start ordering whiskey smoothies. And yes on the protein powder.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Username checks out!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

My stomach hurts reading that.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I might have the opposite problem that she does. Somehow I ended up being a bartender even though I've never touched alcohol in my life, in fact I despise alcohol. When highly-experienced bar patrons would rattle off their requests to me I would give them a blank stare and request them to repeat themselves slowly but talk to me like I'm a 5-year old. Thankfully they obliged and we got through that rough year one minute at a time. Sometimes I even invited the customers to come behind the bar and make their own damn drinks. That was a fun year. Not doing that job ever again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Considering it is a career that requires certification to do, I find myself doubting that you just suddenly found yourself being a bartender with no intentional desire to be one. Care to share more details to flesh out the story?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I was stranded in a town in the middle of nowhere Nevada, the kind of town that only has a post office, one restaurant bar, and a motel. I was stranded because while I was traveling, my retirement direct deposits suddenly stopped coming in.

So the lady who owns all the motel and the restaurant she hired me the first day as a dishwasher, the second day as cleaning motel rooms, then the other housekeeper told her I was too pretty for this and that I should be a bartender. So on the third day the boss started training me as a bartender. I did it and was grateful for the money but I hated every minute of it.

according to state law you are correct I should have taken a test and gotten certified but no one ever required that of me, and I didn't realize that was even a thing until one of my friends moved to Reno and had to take a test to be a bartender. But no one ever made me do that. There is no government oversight in that little town in the middle of nowhere except

One day two representatives from the FDA came in and spent a couple hours with our chef and found no violations except they told him to wear latex gloves, and that was all the govt oversight I ever witnessed out there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You could write a book with a life like that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

thanks yeah and that was just a few months of my life, the rest of my life has been pretty unusual too. but who would buy a book? nobody reads books anymore.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Certification to be a bartender? Where at? I worked in the restaurant business for a decent amount of time when I was younger. The restaurant I worked at had a training regime for bartenders so they would learn how to pour accurately and learn the recipes for a ton of drinks, but it wasn't mandated by the government. Front of house staff from several establishments in the area would hang out and our restaurants were far more lax.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago

unironically cool as hell

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

I asked for coffee neat last week. I was too tired to think about saying coffee, black. Yes… I needed coffee to order the coffee.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It works the other way too.

I went to Starbucks once (while probably hungover) and asked for a coffee. Employee said what size? I said "medium is fine". She started at me like a deer gazing into headlights for a minute and said "we only have demi, short, tall, venti, and grande".

Like seriously,...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

"The fuckin middle one."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My wife hates that I forgot what chicken nuggets are and called them 'meat dots'. Of course I don't call them anything else now.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Like dippin dots, but made of meat

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

This is going to be how I order iced coffee from now on.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I literally did this at my workplace, ordered as J. Bond. The look on our barista's face was priceless.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (17 children)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think the implication is that the customer is drinking alcohol frequently lately because the lady ordered in the way you would order many alcoholic beverages with ice.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Your understanding and articulation of the joke is correct.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

May I present you with "dirt-smoke".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

A caramel macchiato? What is this madness? Must taste like a boxing match in your mouth.

E: Oh, I see. Americans have recipes for "macchiato lattes" and flavoured macchiatos seem to have way too much milk to be a macchiato, which is normally a damn powerful espresso. I think if I ordered that here, they'd confirm confused, and my face would implode. But I'll try later today.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yeah, it's weird but hear me out. What they're referring to is a latte macchiato, which is the opposite of the traditional espresso machiatto you're familiar with. The word macchiato translates as "marked". So an espresso machiatto is an espresso that is marked (with milk), and a latte macchiato is milk with only a marking of espresso. Confusing if you've only heard of one of them, but it does make sense. A lot of Americans are only familiar with the latte macchiato, and major chain shops like Starbucks don't even know what an espresso macchiato is.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Europe does it right. My ex wife would order either macchiato and cappuccino so she could keep awake on our trips. She’d order them and also add 2-3 things of sugar. I would just enjoy my cafe or espresso as is, depending on where we were.

Our last trip we were in Italy for 2 months, she stopped at Conad and found the American section, grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup so she could make her own monstrosities. While not the reason for the divorce, this was a big problem for her back home. I do not miss the tons of ultra processed foods in my pantry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

“Hey Luigi! Bowl of Spaghetti?!”

“Just spaghetti on the rocks.”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Especially as you're working in a shoe store

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