this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Just get a small loan of a few million bucks from your dad!

[–] [email protected] 96 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Have you tried being born into wealth?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

I tried real hard, but I got born into lower middle class by mistake. My bad, I should've tugged harder on my bootstraps while I was an incorporeal potentiality.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or what about having rich parents or relatives?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago

Step 1: Be rich.

Step 2: Don't be unrich.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 days ago (2 children)

the primary habit of successful people is fucking over ignorant poor people who don't realize they're being fucked over

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I get the feeling that the ultra successful also fuck people over who very well do realize that they are being fucked over

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I was just at a depressing job fair trying to recruit for maintenance. It was held at a plant set to close in 3 days. Most of the people I talked to were there for 30 years. It was partially employee owned. Somehow a person in power (I don't know the piece of shit's title) convinced the employees to sell their share at the promise of expansion and investment.

The person in power closed the shop, cashed out, and retired. Will not have to worry about a thing. 200 some people and families now have their lives upended at the benefit to few.

This kind of aligns more with the person you responded to but still relevant.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Also, make sure you own at least one media giant. Then, you can use it to spread agit-prop about how our society shouldn't do anything that inconveniences rich a$$holes.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I don't even buy avocado toast, I should be a billionaire by now

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago

That's your problem. If you never buy it in the first place, you can't stop buying it. You can't save nothing from nothing!

Here, let me help you out:

  1. Be rich
  2. Squander your money on avocado toast and greater luxuries
  3. Stop squandering your money on these things
  4. Now you're rich.

If you don't do 2., how can you expect 3. to work?!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

Own a home, at least

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago

My father has not gifted me the bootstraps made from billions in exploited labour, but the exploitation of coffee producers tastes like I'm already there.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

It’s less a lack of willingness - I’m just never presented with opportunities to massively defraud corporations

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You don't defraud corporations, that'll earn you the scorn of powerful people. You defraud poor people.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well that doesn’t sound nearly as fun

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

You gotta create that opportunity. This guy decided to fake being a real company and started sending invoices to Google and Facebook to the tune of 120 million.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

The key to the Massive Fraud strategy is that you have to already be in the tax bracket that allows for privileges like massive fraud. If you try to do it without meeting that lone prerequisite you end up being arrested by the IRS.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

They can rip my vanilla latte out of my cold dead hands.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've been smashing my own avocados like a chump!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ah yes, but have you tried brewing avocado coffee at home?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

This could work

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Have you tried having rich parents?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (5 children)

If anyone is curious if the girl was buying a single $5 coffee per day, contributing that $35 into a basic S&P 500 fund each week, and doing so for 2 years she should have about $4500 in her account. Now, if she's buying coffee supplies at a grocery store to replace buying it at take out , we'd have to subtract the cost of coffee supplies from the $4500 to know how much she truly saved making coffee at home.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Providing she doesn't spiral into a coffee hobby.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You got me curious, so I did the math for us.

I am a drip coffee person, drink far too much coffee (40 oz) throughout the day, and work on a fairly large corporate campus so I have easy access to hot/fresh coffee that I can purchase. Even though there are multiple branded places to get coffee from on campus, they have similar pricing.

  • Small (12 oz): 4x @ $2.65/pop = $10.60/day
  • Medium (16 oz): 3x @ $2.95/pop = $8.85/day
  • Large (20 oz): 2x @ $3.25/pop = $6.50/day. This is obviously the cheapest choice, but will result in a cold bottom half of the cup due to drinking my coffee slowly vs pounding it

My wife and I split a pot of coffee. It takes us 3 oz of coffee beans to brew it. I can buy a 20 oz bag of the coffee beans we use for $15.29, which works out to $2.30/pot. We often stock up on the beans when they go on sale, but I don't know what we paid for them the last time around.

So.. since my wife also drinks coffee let's say that the price spread between purchased already brewed coffee vs brewed at home coffee is between $6.50-$10.60/day. Splitting the difference = $8.85. Doing that 365 days/year = $3,120 saved.

The fact that I have coworkers who drink a similar quantity of espresso based (more $$) drinks at work is insane.

Do this over a 25 year career, invest the money monthly ($260), plan for a conservative 5% rete of return and you'll have $162,577 - only half of which is principal.

Apply this pattern of thinking over a number of different spending categories and you'll be way better off financially. That said, the stats on the billionaire class are eye watering and no amount of frugality will catch any of us up to them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Boiling the water costs money too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Ha, this is true as does amortizing things like the coffee maker that needs replacing every 5 years, white vinegar for monthly descaling, the Stanley thermos I bought 4 years ago to bring coffee to work, etc.

Let's say that it takes 15 minutes to brew the pot of coffee at 1,500 watts. That's 0.375 watt hours. At $0.20/kwh that's $0.075/pot. Yay for dumping it into a thermos once it's brewed.

All in, even if you added an extra $0.50/day brewing at home is still way cheaper.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don’t know how anyone can survive on a cup of coffee a day.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Usually people eat some food and drink some water, as well as the coffee, during their day

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Damn, is that why I feel like shit all the time, I'm supposed to be eating food too?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Fatgirlhedonist might not be a millionaire, because hardly anybody is - and anybody who promised her she would be was full of shit - but making her own coffee has certainly left her with money she didn't have before. I've always saved money the same way, by doing as many things as I can for myself. I really don't see how there's anything wrong with that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm going to downvote you anyway, not because what you said was untrue or hurtful or disrespectful in any way, but because you're harshing the general unforgiving vibe of the room and I need to stand with my fellow mob.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I upvoted them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

SBF tried but went too greedy.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Must go cheaper: caffeine pills.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Caffeine powder. The best part of waking up, is snorting rail of FDA certified caffeine. You WILL have to explain some things to HR, but they will trust your explanation because of everything else in your HR binder.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Sensible move to save money though.

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