Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy
this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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I feel that. I wish I was neurotypical, cis, and mentally well :(
I wish I was persuasive
A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.
TBH I don't want have to change at all, I'm just saying in the magic genie scenario I'd wish that people agreed with me
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Fitness/athleticism.
This for sure! I didn't appreciate my knees enough when they worked better.
I wish to know, what free will even is, and how it could be possible.
There's this nice dialog that's written by logician and taoist Raymund Smullyan that is about a man asking god to abscond him off free will. I will not spoil the plot but it has some great turns and offers insights on the absurdities and (im) possibilities of the desire not to have free will (and of talking to god).
It's a long read, mind you but it may give you more insight on what you want to know about.
https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/godTaoist.html
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I seen a lot of people have this particular question and the question that I have for them is what isn't free will?
On the religious side you've got the people who are saying God knows everything so he already knows what you're going to do. On the science side you've got all humans are just chemicals in a hot dog casing.
My opinion is, either which way you look at it you are free to choose what you want to do.
Just because somebody can make you question the freedom of your choices does not mean that your choices are not born of free will.
Here's my take, and you can do with it as you will.
We don't have free will, how could we? We are, as you said, chemicals in a hot dog casing. When I see something I want to eat, it's because chemicals tell me I'm hungry and it will provide sustenance. When I do something that I enjoy, and want to pursue, my brain is receiving chemicals that it enjoys, and tells me to continue doing actions that produce said chemicals. I can choose to do these things or not, but my choice in and of itself is determined by... more chemicals.
But why does it matter, if those chemicals also tell "me" that "me" is the one in charge?
It's like the cave/ shadow metaphor (that I will poorly paraphrase and misuse); hold a chair in front of a candle, show me the shadow, call it a "table" for my entire life, and the first time I see a chair I will say, "so this is what a table looks like!" It doesn't matter that it's actually a chair, just like it doesn't matter if I actually am making my choices. My reality (and your reality) is what I perceive and accept, and nothing more. Logically, I understand that when presented the choice between A and B, my body and the chemicals composing it are the ones "making" the decision, and I'm just acting it out. I get that. But if someone says, "do you want really want to watch The Lord of the Rings again?" I already know that the world has changed, because I feel it in the water, feel it in the earth, and smell it in the air.
And that's my choice, chemicals be damned.
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I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I've been quite lucky with genetics and the things I've wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.
I guess there are two things I'd like to even further improve on:
- I'd like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I'd like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
- I'd like to naturally want to read more.
Reading can feel like such a chore, even if you enjoy it.
I have trouble getting started. I'm not sure why I feel as though I should only read a book at a time, and that I should finish every book I start.
So I am trying to treat reading more like how I watch TV. I can start and stop, maybe skip a slow episode (chapter, page). I read more than one book at a time. I just swap between books as my interest changes.
Also, audiobooks have been a really great way for me to read more. I listen on walks, while driving, doing odd jobs, or just while playing some mindless game that keeps my eyes and hands occupied while I listen.
It's just so much more fulfilling than listening to music. I find nothing is quite comparable to the way books capture a moment. Theres just so much perspective and wisdom even in fiction books, they can make other media seem somewhat shallow in comparison sometimes.
If you get/have a library card, see if they support overdrive/libby. I periodically replace my social media apps on my homescreen with a book reading app. When muscle memory decides its time to doom scroll, I end up reading a few pages of a book on my phone instead.
About caring less, I cant claim to have figured it out, but read stoic philosophy seems to help put me on the right track. My understanding is its the basis for a lot of modern psychotherapy, and it seems to make a lot of sense to me.
Do you listen to podcasts too or just audiobooks? In my case, I already listen to a lot of podcast, and I feel like when I'd have a chance to listen to audiobook, I'd just rather put on a podcast. Though perhaps some non-fiction, especially if read by the author.
I have trouble finding podcasts I like. Usually if I want to hear a story, I want to be engrossed and have as many details as possible. And for nonfiction, I tend to dislike a lot of commentary. I just want the information as plain as possible.
I wish I could dance. I have rhythm, just not with my body.
Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.
And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me... I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.
How might you roleplay that? Where did the whole otter segue come from haha 🦦
Was talking to someone about appearances and gay stereotypes.
Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.
I wish my relationship wasn't so very, very, very, very bad. And I wish I could be independent financially and not trapped as I am.
You honestly have no idea how bad it can get. Don't ignore red flags.
That sucks. I'm sorry.
Thank you.
If someone was asked to describe me in a single word, I wish their response would be “kind.”
I wish i was genuinely kind. Faking it is exhausting, and confusing.