this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 144 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Great until it grabs some skin or hair

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 month ago (3 children)

sleeps in the nude

Nutsack gets pinched

[–] [email protected] 95 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you're supposed to wear a gambeson beneath your chainmail. Leather or padded cloth is best.

Ergo, full body gimp suit before bed

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Oh good so I just need the chainmail.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I understand that reference

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

A not quite twenty year old thread where a guy got his nuts pinched in a chair and asked the internet for help

https://www.fark.com/comments/2018473/Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-scared-Help-Details-In-thread

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

It seems very likely that I don't want to click that, but I appreciate the clarification.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can confirm that’s the source. Don’t worry about clicking it, most of the images are lost to time.

Which is a shame. It was hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Maybe we should have some kind of archive of the internet so this isn't a concern! Oh wait.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Have you ever worn chainmail without an undershirt? Or gambeson? It feels neat at first. Never had to worry about pinching. It didn't grab any hair. The metal will feel cool and smooth all night. But oh Lord, the awful pain it will bring to unprotected virgin nipples. Like surfing for a hundred years without a rash guard all in one hedonistic night concentrated on the area less than two dimes. NEVER AGAIN. A couple bandaids or pasties the next time and all is good.

I think you'll be fine with just a top sheet between you and the chainmail.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So what you're saying is, he needs to add nipple holes!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

ill buzz my entire body for the heatsinking properties of aluminium, on this infernal heat

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Prevents some forms of murder!

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago

Assassin shows up like. Bro whatthefuck is this?

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And unlike most kinds of chain mail, this one is also effective at protecting the user from any thrusting attacks that could lead to penetration.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Some of us are into penetration

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago

You got Mail

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (6 children)

They make loosely braided weighted blankets. They won't be as cool as this, but they allow for plenty of weight while still maintaining good airflow. And a far lower risk of scrotum/labia/nipple tragedy.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Any of those would make a great band name.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait holy shit you're right:

Risk of Scrotum

Risk of Labia

Risk of Nipple

Scrotum Tragedy

Labia Tragedy

Nipple Tragedy

Far Lower Scrotum

Far Lower Labia

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

Lower Scrotum Tragedy

Lower Labia Tragedy

Lower Nipple Tragedy (ok, idk who had a lower Nipple but it's weird that it's in the list twice)

Lower Risk Scrotum

Lower Risk Labia

Lower Risk Nipple

Shit, this might be the biggest combo of band names in a single sentence I've ever seen

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

That's the clitoris I think

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'd be more interested in this for the weight. I want more weighted blanket than I can usually find, and I'm guessing this is heavier than that.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

Bros 'tism yearns for the smithy

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ow my leg hair ow my back hair ow my arm hair.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What’s worse is this looks like butted mail instead of riveted mail, so it’ll have lots and lots of little snaggy pokey bits.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can't tell from the potato quality of the pic, but that's likely. Additionally, for contact with anything that hasn't got a layer of leather between it and me, I would really prefer to have welded rings. Riveted ones are also quite the chafe.

It appears that whatever pattern this is isn't a typical 1-in-4 or 1-in-6, so I have no idea how it's actually constructed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Hehehe that reminds me of when I was young. I had 100 feet of 16 or 18 gauge wire, a thing that wound it, and the biggest ass pair of bolt cutters I've seen. I made enough for a mail fist.

I'm never doing it again, but that was an accomplishment.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah my pubes would get stuck in there too lol ouch

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Buy a razor.... There is no way your pubes are better than that chain mesh.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

That's rash city, Jake, rash city!

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Oh fuck I was just thinking about how to solve my need for a heavy blanket while not constantly overheating and waking up.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fuck, now I want to get into making chainmail. Time to pick up another hobby I guess.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Careful, from what I hear its an incredibly time consuming one

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's like knitting but for MEN™.

~/s obviously~

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Coming in scents like "PRIMEVAL GRIME" and "WOODCHIPPER"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Primeval Grime is my favorite music genre.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

That's an understatement.

If anyone does want to get into it, don't do steel. Steel is cheap as shit, but you'll get carpal tunnel before you finish your first bag, belt or tie.

Idk if you can get like 16 gauge aluminum wire, but that would be far easier to work with. Or brass. just don't do steel

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Is this how those people ended up with random piercings/earrings all over their body? Like Xerxes in 300.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Seems like you would want to use stainless steel instead of aluminum if you're going for weight.

Edit: Yes I realize there are better conductors of heat but for the sake of using corrosion resistant welding materials I went with stainless.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Stainless is an insulator of heat. In fact, it's used in 3D printers to avoid heat traveling up the path where the filament is fed in from.

Copper with a silver or rhodium plating would be a good choice otherwise. Copper has a higher thermal conductivity than aluminum, and silver does as well, but is also hypoallergenic.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

He wakes everyone within a hundred foot radius every time he tosses & turns

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Earplugs were a game changer for my sleep.

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