You watch anime, not act it out. Thats like watching Looney Tunes and trying to hit everything with a massive mallet π
this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
500 points (97.9% liked)
Greentext
4206 readers
856 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
and whatβs wrong with that? Some people could use a good squeaky hammer to the face once in a minute.
Thatβs the perfect dent on the perfect car for that joke.
Body repair on a budget.
But where does one find a coyote shaped bollard?
Thats like watching Looney Tunes and trying to hit everything with a massive mallet
If it doesn't works, you need to sharpen your hammer.
If youre sharpening a hammer, i think you have other issues.
Blunt hammer sounds like an issue to me.
sounds like you don't know how to properly cut things with a hammer
Ay I'm (on break, but) at work right now hitting everything with a big ol' mallet! I'm just like my childhood heroes, I'm gonna try and access hammerspace!
You've clearly never seen Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in a room together
Tell this to ahego girls
Rule 1: be attractive
Rule 2: don't be unattractive
I have a theory that the Naruto run works as a placebo.
Placebo works like a mental buff, you believe more in yourself and perform better.
If you watch olympic sprinters, they're bent over to the same extent. I'm pretty drunk so this explanation might suck, but the front-heavy weight distribution that comes with it means its much easier to propell yourself forwards while sprinting.
Of course, you can't hold your arms like that, it was just for ease of animation. But it's not 100% totally and all-consumingly bullshit. Just like. Mostly bullshit.
Yes, you want to push your mass as horizontally as possible, which will be limited by the grip under your feet. Vertical motion is wasted energy, but if you're full horizontal you'll just slip.
The Naruto run is not bullshit, unless you don't believe in the other bullshit in the anime. To get to speeds where wind resistance makes any difference, you need to be running in the ballpark of the fastest running humans are capable of. Not the fastest per se, but the same ballpark. And even then, in the real world, it's only a minimal difference and the Naruto run is far from optimal. To make it necessary you'd have to run faster than any human can, by a very large margin. Maybe even an order of magnitude faster.
However, in the anime, the ninjas ARE able to run that fast. So if you take into account the inhuman basically "magical" abilities of the in-universe runners, it would definitely benefit them to lean forward that much to reduce wind resistance. In many scenes they are moving so fast they will jump between trees for 4-5 seconds of airtime without losing altitude. That's fast. Not only would the Naruto run improve air resistance but it would also prevent you from flailing all over the place when you jump.
So anyway, that's why you should definitely run like Naruto if you are running track in the 7th grade.
This is either completly sincere or next-level trolling, but regardless of which one it is it's absolutely magnificent.
Isn't that how Naruto wins the fights too? He just believes in himself and the power of friendship, so he gets stronger.
So anon is lore accurate
yeah but theres also a demon who gives him power in exchange for his soul
Details details
now I'm worried about Anon
There was a video I watched years ago that had people run normal, the Naruto run.
Nonathletes were faster Naruto style, athletes were faster normal style.
They broke it down as if you're not used to "controlling" your body for performance, forcing yourself into a weird form forces you to focus more so you don't fall, so you get a bit more effort without realizing it.
One of my favorite project mates in college was a body builder. After working together for a while, he told me that he had a 2400+ arena rating in World of Warcraft and if I told anyone he'd kill me.
This was in like 2010.
There seems to be an odd correlation between enjoying grindy MMOs and enjoying grinding away at physical fitness. Incremental gains I guess.
hopefully thereβs a statue of limitations on this kind of thing or else you still might be in trouble
You hear the dull thud of weights hitting a gym mat in the distance.
Yes, Kramer, there's a statue of limitations.
the buffest dude in my gym class wears anime shirts. Dude's fucking awesome
My body building friend is EXTREMELY happy to talk about his wow life haha
Lmao, I also had a jock friend who was ashamed of his very high arena rating (ca. 2017 though)
Probably wintraded.
I ended up playing with him for a while. Nope, he was just fuckin nuts.
load more comments
(1 replies)
You broke rules 1 & 2
- Be attractive
- Don't be unattractive
An attractive person would still look dorky as fuck doing the Naruto run
I'm one of those few lucky people that finds it relatively easy to exercise (and be decently good at it), so I was often that weird dweeb that loved DBZ that would win in sports day, score in football games, make the top four consistently in tennis, win the 1500m, etc. I was that weird kid that loved the bleep test, because it was something I was good at.
My experience was very similar in PE. Popular people would get cheered on, I'd dominate them, and it would be met with a mixture of indifference and annoyance that I wasn't unfit like everyone else I hung around with to discuss the intricacies of Neon Genesis Evangelion at lunch time.
That sounds really weird to me. Nobody cheered when I had PE because nobody gave a fuck. The only cheers you would hear were sarcastic. Nobody gave a fuck since everyone who cared for sports was a member of a sports club outside of school and theyβd rather be training at the club than waste time and energy in PE.
Yeah this was my experience as well. No one cheers anyone on in gym class. In fact I remember getting teased for participating and actually trying on multiple occasions.
Anon was not the main character
Well, first of all he did a Naruto run...
I figured out the secret to P.E. in school.
I just didn't go. I skipped almost every gym class from 7th grade to senior year. I was able to talk my way out of getting an F somehow so I never got held back or anything despite literally never going for years at a time.
Yep. Same here. Iβve got a visual disability, which means I just canβt do things like ball sports. Which was all the PE teacher was really interested in doing. That and the cooper test. I also just donβt like sports in general. The teacher clearly wasnβt interested in trying to find something that worked with my disability.
Year one in high school, I stopped going three months in. Because it obviously wasnβt going to improve.
I basically took that hour to do homework, which was a much more productive use of my time.
Three years later we got a halfway decent PE teacher who was actually willing to at least TRY and accommodate my disability. Hand painted ping pong balls with a bright yellow marker to get me to try that, bought some new colored balls, etc. While it still wasnβt my thing, I was at least willing to try it since he put in the effort. We got along fine because of it.
As an adult though: I donβt do sports and it doesnβt interest me in the slightest.
But why? Are you also not doing sports in your free time?
Because I'm akward AF and have absolutely no hand-eye coordination. I dont believe in hell but if there is one its a never ending PE class for me. I always got picked last on every team I'd ever been on and the kids made fun of me.
Let me tell you a story, one that I don't like sharing IRL.
One time my pe teacher started getting on my case about attendance again, so I decided to go (big mistake).
That day we were doing indoor sports and I had to do baseball. It was my turn at bat; swing one, two, three, I'm out, or so I thought. Then the teacher said the most cruel words I can remember in high school, "no outs. Keep swinging". So there I stood, desperately trying to hit the fucking ball. Swing ten, swing fifteen. The whole class was laughing at me. Swing thirty, swing thirty five. "Come on its the same fucking pitch hit the ball loser". Swing forty, swing sixty. Then finally, mercifully, I managed to somehow bunt the ball. I tried to just walk away but the teacher made me go to first base. I walked to first base basically in tears where they promptly tagged me with the ball and I walked off the field.
I think he didn't want me to feel bad for striking out but it was so much worse. I didn't go back to gym after that and the teacher never said anything again.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
be me
weeb
That's where you went wrong, being a weeb is nothing other than shameful and you should feel bad for being one.
Watch Golden Boy, that'll cheer ya right up lmao.
view more: next βΊ