this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
311 points (81.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26718 readers
3587 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 138 points 11 months ago (4 children)

This has big "FW: FW: RE: FW:" energy.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

Seriously, I had to double check I wasn't somehow on Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Going to forward it to my dad so he can slowly read it aloud during Thanksgiving dinner while a dozen people sit uncomfortably in silence, waiting for him to look up so they can awkwardly laugh.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Someone took a list of insults written about soldiers in the military, and rephrased them. Do you actually think teachers would say this stuff about their students in writing?

This website just doesn't get satire.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I swear this website (collection of websites, social media network, whatever) makes me regret leaving reddit more and more every day. The people here are fully incapable of understanding sarcasm or humor. It's hilarious

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think it's partly because you'd get mocked ruthlessly on Reddit for missing the joke, whereas here either nobody points it out, or they're very kind about it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it's pretty shit isn't it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (3 children)

"When her IQ reaches 50 she should sell" is probably the wittiest one.

I'm going to assume that none of these teachers are real, some corndog just pulled this thing out of the fucked up meme engine that makes facebook suck so bad. Some schmuck who writes jokes for morning FM drive time radio probably sat down with a pencil and wrote these.

If it gets any worse it's going to say "REAL FRIENDS STAY" in shitty cursive on a purple background and that's it, that's the whole meme, because facebook.

I wonder how close to the bottom of that drain we are now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

It's absolutely a work of fiction.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago

My favorite is the “delusions of adequacy”, that one had to sting! The six-pack one though sounds like possible ADHD or some other learning disorder - your child is smart enough, but lacks the ability to do well

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

I hope the teacher who said #11 isn't teaching reproductive biology.

The sperm that makes it through to the egg doesn't get there first. Multitudes of other sperms die weakening the wall, receiving nothing in return, only for another to slide right in and reap all the rewards and renown for their sacrifice. It's basically the perfect analogy for capitalism.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No teacher said any of these, it's made up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Probably, but I find that you get more enjoyment from these memes with a little willful suspension of disbelief 🤷

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The free market is not, as the social Darwinists imagine, a struggle between rich and poor, strong and weak. It is the principal means by which human beings cooperate in order to live. If each of us had to produce all his food and shelter by himself, almost no one could survive. The existence of large-scale society depends absolutely on social cooperation through the division of labor.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (7 children)

Poor kid is probably neurodivergent and being told to "just stop it" or "just be normal" instead of actually receiving the help they need.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Unhelpful advice I’ve received from neurotypicals who have, apparently, no theory of mind:

  • Just think about it
  • You should try making a to-do list
  • You’re just embarrassing yourself when you act that way
  • Oh but it’s not a big deal, see?
  • Calm down
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I once in high school was told about a thing I couldn't do to basically "just do it" by a teacher. In a meeting about my support network. My mother almost wanted to hit the teacher in the head with the dossier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Maybe some of them, but some people are just legitimately stupid beyond repair in a neurotypical way. It's not their fault, it's not a moral failing and they deserve empathy and respect. It's just very unfortunate in today's society.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

its multiple kids.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Ah yes dilutions of adequacy. The best kind of dilutions

Edit just not going to fix the spelling it sort of fits

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Why did you misspell that twice? In the graphic it is spelled correctly. Delusions.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

No, his adaqucy is just diluted...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

That is a very valid question. I have been awake since 3 am so I am going to blame it on that opposed to my inability to spell.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Number 5 is probably my favorite mostly because I like talking hyperboles and taking them even further

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

these teachers failed at their initial standup career and are bitter about it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (9 children)

It's not just a problem with the teachers. The whole system is rotten. Many kids go unsupported and fail due to it. Some may try to join the gangs and think school is worthless, some may have need for extra effort which isn't their from parents or teachers. It's unfortunate in such a huge beast like the NYC public school system, just like many others.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

It's really a problem with the parents, and that causes problems with the administration which causes problems for the teachers.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Number 5 is basically me

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Man the teachers in New York are really nice compared to the jerks I had to deal with growing up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That’s not really how insemination works though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Bold of you to assume the teacher has a basic understanding of any subject matter they teach. We need to stop assuming we're going to get the cream of the crop when teachers are often forced to take second jobs just to make ends meet. If we pay more, then we can demand more, and someday we can expect more.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

This bullshit is not real.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Just wait till you get to #12 🤣 /s

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Number 6 so was incredibly mid but then Number 7 kicked like a mule.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Not sure what watered twice a week is referring to

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A plant. Basically saying they're one step above vegetable.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

they're saying that if the student was any dumber they'd be a houseplant

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

The 11 just shows a lot of ignorance.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Every single one of these is me irl, especially the delusions of adequacy one

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

It was all about the same kid.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›