Ask Lemmy

Bullying.

Sometimes other guys paint you as the villain so they can get laid.

When i was around 16 and drove around with co workers, they always had to comment on women they saw on the street. Oh she's so hot. Look at her boobs. Ew she's ugly. They were super nice guys, but i always just sat there quietly thinking: maybe when i'm an adult i'll be like that and don't feel so awkward anymore. I'm always 40 now and still when i sit in a car with guys i don't really know, nothing has really changed. I still just roll my eyes and when i see a lady with big boobs, i hope no one else saw her. But they always do and have something extremely funny to say.

The inability to accept/ ask for help.

The prideful tough guy front masking all emotion (besides anger) was enough reason for me to leave an all-male facility.

When we have female friends in common and suddenly it turns out they want to fuck her and they assume I'm only hanging out with her because I want to as well.

I have never had any men brag to me about their sexual encounters; generally the people I end up hanging out with don't make sexist comments about women in public or anything like that. But this bullshit I've experienced on numerous occasions.

I guess it's not really a "toxic trait" as much as "being toxic as fuck".

Micromanagement and the need to take credit for work other people do. Of all the incompetent bosses I've had over the years, micromanagers are the worst and all of the micromanagers for whom I've worked have been men.

It's like, dude, you hired me because I know more about doing this task than other people (including you). Stop hovering over me, when I need your input I'll come get you. Just let me fucking cook. I know what I'm talking about and what I'm going... you employ me specifically because I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing.

I guess their thought process goes: if I'm not hovering over this person at all times, the company might figure out I don't know 100% of 100% of everything my employees do day to day... even though that's insane. What company would require a manager to know absolutely everything about how their employees do their jobs; a manager obviously shouldn't be completely in the dark about operations but also it's crazy to think they'd want them to be an expert on everything.

A cognitive bias with a reification fallacy in common speech. "Scientists say...", "Everyone believes...", " All of Lemmy knows..."...

Not just guys, but mainly.

In the engineering field and other technical realms you’ll often find an asshole coming out of their shell under the guise of superior life choices. They full delude themselves into believing other trades and interests are less than because they don’t benefit society in such a directly visible way.

I should know, I was brainwashed into the cult for a few years. It took seeing it go to the extreme before I snapped out of it and started respecting other career and life choices.

Not letting their girlfriends hang out with other guys.

The need to always seem manly around other men...in particular the choice of music. Ride in the car with certain people, they always have to be blasting hard rock or rap, or hard country depending on your location.

Meanwhile I'm over here enjoying switching between pop, rock, new wave, alt and even my playlist of exclusively Elton John, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel and Billy Joel