this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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I'm drunk alone at home, anyone else doing something similar due the depression/problems? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When I started at university, I hadn't drank much yet in high school. The university I went to was technically a religious institution but it was super low-key, basically a normal college, just that it had a chapel and some funding from the church of England.

Anyway, during the opening week of school, the chaplain gave a short, relatively nonreligious speech to the students. He mentioned at one point an acronym: SALT - Sad Angry Lonely Tired. If you feel like you are any of those things you probably shouldn't drink. And I really liked that acronym so I have mostly adhered to it ever since. I think it's a good rule of thumb to avoid the worst aspects of alcohol use. So I personally never drink if I'm feeling depressed. Even if I think it would make me feel better, I simply don't allow myself to do it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This might have changed my brain chemistry just a bit. Thanks, stranger.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Glad to have helped. It's a good rule of thumb and at this point it's not even conscious for me. It's just muscle memory for me that if I'm feeling any of those things I don't drink. I avoid drinking alone unless I'm doing something fun, I never drink if I'm dealing with personal shit, etc.

Basically if I don't already have something fun going on, I don't drink. My mindset is that drinking should complement something fun that's already happening, not that it should be a source of fun on its own.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I did it all the week. I did it since decades.

Now I understand that alcohol is making me depressed with suicidal thoughts (+ all the other bad things it does).

So I’m trying to [email protected], failed this month but ready to start my 30 days challenge again.

Alcohol really does not help with depression or problems, it’s actually the exact opposite as all drugs do.

Let’s make a pact, when we feel down and want to drink, don’t and just go for a walk outside. We can do it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

You didn’t fail, because you’re getting back on the proverbial horse. Setbacks aren’t failures, the only failure is to stop trying.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

After a while walking outside does nothing to you, it actually depressed me more being alone while I see other people dating

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't know why you're being down voted. I understand how going outside and seeing others make you more depressed. It takes a couple of tries but there are some unpopulated trails that you could walk without seeing much people

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Thank you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Hey, congratulations! It takes an insane amount of insight to recognize when you have a problem, and an equal amount of courage to do something about it. Though you’ve stumbled, and probably will stumble again, it says a lot about you as a person that you have the persistence to continue trying. With those qualities, I would imagine you’ll succeed sooner rather than later, so keep it up! 😀

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just wanted to suggest Sinclair Method as a more elliptical path to whererever you'd like to get to, naltrexone is an amazing tool to have to work with

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks I did not knew about that. I prefer not to take any medicine (and this one is expensive for 28 pills in my country).

I use the "Annie Grace Method" which already worked on me. It's basically convincing your subconscious that alcohol (or whatever you want) sucks and you don't need it. Once your brain knows that, you don't think about it and don't crave for a drink.

I did it for 6 months then use a shit excuse to get wasted "just that time" with my ex. We celebrated our divorce together by getting shit faced one last time.

It was in January this year and since then I basically made no effort and all the girls I hooked up with since were hard drinker as well...

That's why I'm starting again, I know the "how to", I just need to not be lazy and work my ass off for that objective. Plus this time I have tons of really good natural sugar free ice tea and I want to trick my brain into doing sport everytime it starts to think about a drink. I'll end up being an addict at my local boxing club, but that is a good addiction.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Kombucha sometimes scratches the same itch also

The issue I have with non-Sinclair is the actual biochemical aspect is never addressed which I would argue is at least as important as all the psychological/psychodynamic aspects. If Grace's liminal method works for you, thats awesome. Keep that up but just remember there's options :)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

I'm not but, I hope everything gets better for you. I won't try and pretend to understand your emotions or problems.

For whatever little its worth, when things get rough in my life I just try and think "this too shall pass".

Have a better day friend.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't drink if I'm feeling depressed, because alcohol is a depressant.

Better to exercise if you're feeling depressed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Alcohol is a depressant but that doesn’t mean it makes you psychologically depressed. It means it depresses your central nervous system—less anxiety, slower brain function and more.

Now, it may make your particular depression worse. But, when a chemical is called a depressant it doesn’t mean it makes people depressed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you just want to commiserate:

I'm starting the day with a double Bloody Mary. The only thing I have on my schedule is replacing a toilet and my back is trash and I'm just not sure I can do it today and I'm scared to start. Been out of work for 5 months and between applications and interviews it's about the only thing that keeps me from thinking about my world burning down around me. My only solo hobbies are video games and woodworking (badly), and there are no games I want to play right now and standing on cement working with my tools will wreck my back further.

But the worst thing is besides my wife and teens, I don't have anyone to hang out with or talk to. If I did I would probably not be drinking. I don't actually enjoy being drunk all that much. I don't have a problem yet, but if this keeps up I probably will.

Anyway, enough of that shit. If it helps, share what's going on. I'll listen. Beats thinking about what a shit show my own life is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Back pain is just terrible. Keeps you from moving, and the pain makes you feel useless.

Sorry you're struggling. I don't know shit about replacing a toilet but I'd help if I were nearby.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I didn't know either until the first one I did. It is shockingly easy and not dirty like you might think. I've probably replaced at least 10 of them in the last 15 years between me and people I've helped.

Given what a plumber costs, no one should ever pay to have it done. A toilet costs $99 and the whole job takes maybe an hour including unboxing and cleanup.

You're a generous person for saying you'd help, though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Every other week, when my kids are with their mom, I go through similar. I do have a dog, which allows me to distract myself by taking care of her. I also keep a steady list of mundane shit to do around the house to also aid with distraction. But sometimes I succumb to the sadness, and that’s when I usually go to bed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I used to love being home alone while drunk. It was honestly one of my favorite things to do.