this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Of course, a bodyguard will obviously be a master tactician with unrivaled logistics management capabilities. The Kremlin's forces will be thrilled when he shows up and starts giving orders.

In other words, Putin has almost nobody left he can actually trust, so he's putting incompetent people in charge of critical functions.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Jesus Christ, I knew the Russian army was in a bad state, but not THAT bad a state. That’s some Himmler Volksturm shit right there.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You guys are thinking about Putin like he's a politician, but he behaves like a mafiosi. For mafia loyalty is the most important quality. That's why appointing a bodyguard to oversee something important makes sense to Putin.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Bang on. You don’t make someone your bodyguard without trusting them, so this guy is a good pick from the perspective of maintaining power as an autocrat.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

Dont trust cooks anymore?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Everyone in Russia is so rich that generals don't need to be generals anymore.

Bodyguard has to take general jobs because the Russian economy is booming!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Bodyguard:

"Right away, boss! Let me get my things from my room!"

The door opens and closes. Putin hears the man leaping down some steps, and out the front door. "Truely, he will save me." Putin thinks as he hears a car door open and slam shut, the turning of the engine that sputters to life that is quickly thrown into gear, and the hiss of gravel as the accelerator is jammed to the floor and the wheels spin crazily down the road. "Wait." Putin mutters as horror dawns on his face. "His room was down the stairs and to the left!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Jared Kushner vibes.

This has nothing to do with qualifications, and everything to do with loyalty. Putin is shaky.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Wasn’t there a parody streaming series recently that the ruler put their bodyguard in charge of the military?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Apparently that too is a documentary.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

The one with the warcrime puppies?