this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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It all started with a tweet about a couch. Within hours of Donald Trump announcing the Ohio senator JD Vance as his running mate in the presidential race, a rather lurid accusation cropped up on social media.

The user of a since-deleted X account wrote last month, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”

The fake page citation from Vance’s bestselling memoir Hillbilly Elegy lent credibility to what turned out to be a baseless claim, as detailed in a now-removed fact check from the Associated Press. Soon, the internet was awash in memes mocking Vance’s relationship with various pieces of furniture. “I did not have sectional relations,” one X user joked, paraphrasing Bill Clinton’s infamous quote about his extramarital affair. Another user added: “Who hasn’t been excited by the thrill of the chaise?”

Even Kamala Harris’s newly launched presidential campaign appeared to get in on the fun, tweeting: “JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women.”

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Nothing would be funnier if the Internet destroyed Vance's career over a shit post.

The piece of shit known as JD Vance deserves it.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you can be destroyed by an internet meme then your career must've been sofa king bad

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I settee what you did there. And so does JD Vance.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

They literally have built their entire careers on baseless claims that even their followers know are BS, they just chose to believe because they just want to echo their hatred. All of their shit is baseless and they scream it from the rooftops until it sticks. It's just a shit post in a different form. Their entire campaign is a baseless shitpost.

So fuck it, JD Vance fucks couches and it's fucking WIERD. Let it destroy him. Finally we are fighting fire with fire.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I just watched John Oliver destroy it again.

Vance's campaign did not deny, on 3 separate occasions, that JD Vance has fucked a couch.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Live by the meme, die by the meme.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I hope the Democrats win, but I have to point out that someone being discredited by rumors or misinformation is not suddenly ok just because it’s your side that benefits from it

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

They lie all the time. They lie all day. I'm tired of taking the high road. I will lie about them and laugh about it. The couch thing is hilarious and untrue. The dolphin porn search is hilarious and real.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

someone being discredited by rumors or misinformation is not suddenly ok just because it’s your side that benefits from it

I agree, but this rumor is so absurd that anyone who actually believes it is a fucking moron. It's a meme joke that should be no more effective than "let's go Brandon". If it's actually costing him support then he's relying on absolute idiots to support him.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Wait so the couch fucking thing was bullshit? It's just so... specific. Talk about an impressive shitpost.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean, we can't definitively say it didn't happen.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

That is almost certainly why the AP fact check was taken down. While it was true that the alleged passage was not in the book as claimed, there is no proof that Vance did not fuck a piece of furniture.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We can only really say for sure that he didn't write about it in his book. But have we checked everything he ever wrote?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has he ever specifically stated that he has not had sectional relations?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

The account posted the Arthur go in the Internet and tell lies meme like 10 minutes after, but the Internet had a meme, and the Internet wanted to keep that meme.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Wait until you find the dolphin thing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Yeah. Some random dude tweeted it and it got passed around. The original tweet was deleted because they realized it was getting taken seriously.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It was always bs, but people on the Internet like spreading lies. I saw some politician go on MSNBC and she brought it up too. It's embarrassing if she believed it and spread it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

It's only proper: Faux had been hyping 'immigrant crime' and every Trump positive, Biden negative bullshit they can. Spreading bullshit & lies? Republican marching orders. Pogram against Democracy. Putin smiles.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

It's about as true as the idea that Kamala isn't really black or that Biden is the head of a crime family.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How the actual fuck am I being served an ad for a couch in this thread!?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is that in an app or the browser?

I don’t see any ads on Voyager for iOS.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I use sync on Android, ad supported and that's cool with me. Dev needs to eat and I do too

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Given how much press the sofa is taking, I would not be surprised if Trump ditches Vance for the sofa.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

If Trump kicks Vance off the ticket, I'd be interested to see who at this point would be willing to throw in with him. You have to think that list is even shorter now than it was a month ago

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (11 children)

Yeah, dropping this VP after a such a short time, and trying to have his previous one killed, makes you wonder who would want the job.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ted Cruz? He seems enough like Grima Wormtongue to do it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Ted Cruz would do it, he's spineless enough to do anything Trump wanted him to do.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This would be a perfect thing for Tucker Carlson to just ask questions about. If he wasn’t a huge piece of shit

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"So... What type of couch? I'm just asking questions!"

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (5 children)

The couch thing might be fiction, but he really did google dolphin porn (who cares about his purported reason).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Lmao, what context did they provide for the dolphin porn search? I mean, I know why I do it, I just wondered what reason they gave.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Supposedly, he only did it to show people how depraved the internet is.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Like all the Qanons trying to get ahold of CSAM for "research."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

He reposted it saying "the Internet was a mistake", probably trying to pass it off as something that just came up when he was scrolling. Think, right wingers ranting about the immorality of big tech, etc. But the screenshot shows he searched for it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

(purporpoise reasons)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm from central KY and my wife's from Appalachia. I think the entire region would have a massive week long party titled "FUCK JD VANCE FOREVER" if this happened. He's one of the most hated people around here. You even bring up his name and you can see people's heart rates and fury and anger go up even before the ranting begins.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like some tea. What did the sofa king do?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He wrote a whole book telling big city people that all of their prejudices against Appalachia and the people who live there are 100% correct.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Yeah he basically wrote a book full of a bunch of lies in which he shits all over kentucky, but also the entire appalachian region with just a whole truckload of baseless claims and completely made up "stories" of his upbringing that never happened. It's all lies. Like @eestileib said, it just preyed on the prejudice big city people all over the country had about this region, having never actually been here at all. They think of Appalachia and think no shoes, inbred hillbillies who can't even speak and don't have running water. Vance wrote a NY TIMES BESTSELLER (how on earth did they approve that) that just made up a bunch of lies confirming all those prejudices. In reality Appalachia is one of the most unique, gorgeous, creative, wonderful places on earth. Of course it has its problems, but Vance would never write something about how beautiful and wonderful something is. He'd much rather write something that tears down and belittles people he knows nothing about.

As I said: he's probably the #1 most hated human around this region.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

He can go to the same bottomless pit fat orange is headed for

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

He just did an interview with Oprah this weekend

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Oprah's expression is one that says, "oh god. No. Not this couch too!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Give it time. Soon enough he'll hire a reputation management company, shave his beard, show up for Dancing on the Stars, then SNL will put him in a sketch as Waluigi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Beyond anything else, I think we can agree that's a heck of a headline. British press style is extremely annoying, but every now and then something clicks and makes you wonder if it's all worthy (it isn't).

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