this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
18 points (100.0% liked)

Memes

45728 readers
1134 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

You know it won't

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

The bill will come in nine months though. You have spend it within the month.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Easy, buy up a bunch of land for conservation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Property can take a while to close


offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

If you're buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there's nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren't a factor... I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Dude, you only have 100 million.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Genie never said they'd give me a 100M to spend in the first place. No way I'd be able to spend 100M that I don't have.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me of a scam I fell for in Eve Online once

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I wonder whether Eve has more or less scams per capita (player) than Roblox or Runescape

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Build and fund a Marxist think tank, think tank of the Proletariat

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Can I invest in crypto"

"I already said no throwing it away"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

No gambling also applies

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Ever heard of this game called "Star Citizen"?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Using AWS already fits into rule #3.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Amazon Web Services, the largest cloud provider in the world

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Those white fluffy things in the sky.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry what is the sky?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

the blue thing above your head

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Give it all away anyway. Screw that genie, wealth hoarding jerk. At worst he kills you and you leave a saintly legacy.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago

seems better to just spend the 100M like he wants and then just give the remaining 900M away.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Treasury bonds here I come

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

Investments are probably covered under "gambling".

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ill show up to dealership row and just start buying out car dealerships until I hit 100m and have that done in an afternoon

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Bad investment, you can't resell them for nearly as much and you've contributed to the automobile industry that is lobbying hard against climate change policy

I'd start buying up mid-sized companies and reorganizing them as worker co-ops. Doing some long-term good while not violating the terms of the contract

If you're just after the money, do as every billionaire looking to launder some money does and buy art.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

no way are you finishing a company takeover in a month

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it's technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Short time later your homes are in ruins and your broke from continuously fixing your houses.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I sincerely doubt that the maintenance bill for 100 houses is going to exceed a billion dollars any time in for foreseeable future.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Found the idle rent seeker, or worse, a bootlicker for idle rent seekers.

There is a reason why capitalists and socialists both hate landlords, they are a relic of feudalism.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

You sound like you need a warm cookie and a glass of milk