this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

You know it won't

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

The bill will come in nine months though. You have spend it within the month.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Easy, buy up a bunch of land for conservation

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Property can take a while to close


offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

If you're buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there's nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren't a factor... I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dude, you only have 100 million.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Genie never said they'd give me a 100M to spend in the first place. No way I'd be able to spend 100M that I don't have.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This reminds me of a scam I fell for in Eve Online once

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I wonder whether Eve has more or less scams per capita (player) than Roblox or Runescape

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Build and fund a Marxist think tank, think tank of the Proletariat

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Can I invest in crypto"

"I already said no throwing it away"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

No gambling also applies

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Ever heard of this game called "Star Citizen"?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Using AWS already fits into rule #3.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Amazon Web Services, the largest cloud provider in the world

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Those white fluffy things in the sky.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm sorry what is the sky?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

the blue thing above your head

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Give it all away anyway. Screw that genie, wealth hoarding jerk. At worst he kills you and you leave a saintly legacy.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

seems better to just spend the 100M like he wants and then just give the remaining 900M away.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Treasury bonds here I come

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago

Investments are probably covered under "gambling".

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ill show up to dealership row and just start buying out car dealerships until I hit 100m and have that done in an afternoon

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bad investment, you can't resell them for nearly as much and you've contributed to the automobile industry that is lobbying hard against climate change policy

I'd start buying up mid-sized companies and reorganizing them as worker co-ops. Doing some long-term good while not violating the terms of the contract

If you're just after the money, do as every billionaire looking to launder some money does and buy art.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

no way are you finishing a company takeover in a month

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it's technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Short time later your homes are in ruins and your broke from continuously fixing your houses.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I sincerely doubt that the maintenance bill for 100 houses is going to exceed a billion dollars any time in for foreseeable future.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Found the idle rent seeker, or worse, a bootlicker for idle rent seekers.

There is a reason why capitalists and socialists both hate landlords, they are a relic of feudalism.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago

You sound like you need a warm cookie and a glass of milk