this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
337 points (97.5% liked)

Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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I said, "Fine, suit yourself."

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems needle-ss to say that though

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your skills are indeed tailored for these puns

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

These puns are sew good I split a seam laughing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A tight-knit bundle of jokes for sure

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm dyeing! Isn't there some way I can persuede you to stop with the puns?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Agreed. Lets hem it in.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I guess your children will grow up in a patchwork family

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mine said she was leaving because I had blown our savings on penis extensions.

She couldn't take it any longer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mine said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees. I didn't believe her at first, but then I saw her face.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

That's hilarious

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Mine threw me out for doing bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. When I left, I said “I will return”.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Mine left because of my brand new noise cancelling headphones.

She mumbled something vague like "you never listen to me", I didn't quite hear it tbh.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Mine was because of my obsession to fish.

I said, "So long, and thanks for all the fish."