No Stupid Questions

I promise you that some percentage of the people you've lied to are fully aware that you're lying. Nobody passes that well for 20 years younger.

My homie. If you're doing nursing, you're retiring with a bad back. Probably knees too. Doing patient care is hell on your body, no matter how light you go now.

So, yeah, see if you can get a doctor to recommend light duty to preserve what you have left, and the next time someone asks your age, tell them whatever because nobody is actually going to take it easy on you until you're damn near retirement anyway.

I guess it doesn't help you to say it now, but this was a terrible way to deal with a slight nuisance from what has to be a small group of stupid people. This has the potential to cause far greater intrusion and judgement from your coworkers than your lack of marriage and kids ever would have done, and this especially with a crowd that love gossip. You've potentially handed them the juiciest gossip they'll likely ever get and given how dull the workplace can be, they'll be milking it for years if they find out.

I think you're pretty much in it for the long haul now, which will take work to maintain, and also depending on how long you work at this place with these guys, you better hope your unusually youthful appearance stays at a consistent 18 years behind your real age and doesn't hit a sudden inflection point where it suddenly all catches up because that'll be tough to account for.

I do get it, coworkers can be rude and nosey AF. I've had some like that, too. But lying about your age is not the way to handle it. Keep them on a low information diet. It's perfectly OK to say "that's really none of your business" or "l prefer not to discuss my personal life at work."

If they keep pushing the issue, get firm with them and ask if they really want to get HR involved? (Don't involve HR if at all possible. Mentioning it should be enough.)

To get out if the mess of this lie, just start telling the truth. Laugh it off, you thought it was cute/funny/flattering that people thought you were so young.

Most nosey/rude coworkers just want to make sure you're "ok" and "not some kind of weirdo". It's very shitty and obnoxious of them, but you don't handle it by, well... being a bit of a weirdo and acting like you're over 10 years younger.

You say you didn't give them ammunition, but IMO you've done exactly that by giving them this weird "power" to make you feel like you should hide your true age or apologize for anything.

"Why aren't you married?" "I haven't met anybody worth making that kind of commitment to."

"Why didn't you have kids?" "Because I don't want any (at this point)."

Live your life according to your own schedule and speak your actual truth.

If I need to change this, why and how?

Why:

You're lying to your coworkers, and while you think you can pass for 25, you said you've been using it for 3 jobs now and have graying hair?

Like, lots of older guys drastically overestimate how young they still look, and people go along with it because why have the awkward conversation calling out an obvious lie?

How:

Just stop lying to everyone?

Like if you meant how to do that without everyone thinking negative things...

You shouldn't have told people you're almost 20 years older than you told them.

They're going to doubt everything you tell them, and in a medical setting that's a big deal.

You can try to keep pretending, but at some point it'll come out, if they don't already all know.

Age is a protected class In the US. Report anyone who asks your age to HR. IDK, sounds good on paper, but who the hell would do that?

You need to get some gray hair dye. Apply only a little, where people's hair mostly starts to go grey, and then come in to one of your shifts. When the first person comments on it, act surprised and say "the witches curse was real! She said I would lost 13 years for encroaching on her house in the woods!" This way, you will get even more sympathy for being older. Your youth was stolen from you.

Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old

Don't worry, 25 year olds now don't have the body of 25 year olds from when you were 25. In my experience they're either very fit gym rats (the minority), or a bit pudgy and weak from a lifetime spent online.

I have a peer who I think is probably 40, but when I asked his age he flatly stated "I don't tell people my age, it leads to judgment and preconceptions". I respected his decision. You could always roll with something like that if you feel uncomfortable lying.

Learn to laugh in people's faces.

"Why aren't you married?"

Laugh and walk away saying "rude"

Don't lie that you're 25. In my experience, there are 2 ways to handle stupid questions you don't wanna answer.

1. agree and amplify with bullshit. "yeah, 40 and unmarried. I'm so lonely. I scream and cry myself to sleep every night. I drink 5 gallons of vodka just to make it thru a shift.".
2. change the frame. "why are you so interested in my marital status? Are you looking for someone? I'm flattered but you're not my type.".

The former coworkers who pestered you are jerks. Not everyone will react like that.

Next time your age comes up, just say, "you really believed I was 25?! Haha, that's great!"

How can you be in your 40s and this avoidant?

I don't understand why you have to answer at all when someone asks your age, but find it hilarious that you just keep resetting to 25 every year. How do they keep believing it? Do you change jobs every year? Why do you care if someone judges your lifestyle if it's what you want?

You aren't going to break doing heavy lifting at 43. If you feel it's damaging you, that's separate from your age.

This whole question is so funny - I do think people see what they expect, not what is. I had 2 kids when young then 2 more when older, and it was so funny - people who only saw me with my younger set thought I was much younger than I am. People who knew me from the first set thought I was about my age. People who saw me with all of them thought I was a grandma and older than I am.

Embrace it, make the most of it. Anyone else's criticism of you solely based on your age is frankly irrelevant IMO, and not worth even thinking about...

Lying about your age could be a problem in certain scenarios, like say some kind of medical situation, or even if a coworker expresses romantic interest with the belief that your age is something completely different. It's not ideal, but I would probably suggest to tread carefully with it.

Don't know the dynamics of your work assignment - however if you trust your manager it might be worth having a quick conversation about it to see if you can at least be put onto tasks that take your body's condition into consideration.

I got double-carded at concerts until I grew facial hair. I wasn't even 21 yet so idk what their deal was. Anyway, try to grow a beard and mustache, that helped me

I had to dye my hair and take all my graduation dates off my resume just to get an interview, let alone getting hired. My hair was gray since my early 30's.

Setup an accident that gets you sick or spills something on you, and oh no turns out it accelerates aging!

Now your body is actually 43 even though you're 25.

OP, age is a number it doesn't matter. I've seen 25/30 year olds with back problems, and I've seen 40/50 year olds who have never had back problems. Everyone is different. Don't think that because they think you're 25, that you can't complain "because a 25yo wouldn't complain".... A 25yo can and should complain if their back hurts. Your physical condition might deteriorate with age, but bluntly, that looks different for everyone. For some it takes longer, for others it happens much sooner.

Do what you need to do to make sure you can take care of yourself.

Do you get carded at bars often? I looked younger than I was and was carded fairly often til I was about 30. Even then, since around 34 or so I don’t think I’ve been carded at all