Can’t wait to get a 60 cent check for all the plastics these companies put into my balls
this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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...but maybe you'll get featured on everyone's favorite show: Ow! My Balls!
True Life My Balls are Plastic
I want bigger balls. Can they pump more plastic safely into my balls? Plastic filled balls have more bounce.
spherical, with a world map tattoed
Yes please!
There needs to be prison time.
If you can personally cash in today, and leave the consequences for the company to handle 30 years later, there’s a massive incentive to be reckless.
They should be paying restitution in perpetuity. Same with big oil and carbon reduction. The “one and done” fine system could never put a dent in the damage these companies have done.
Create a new annual fiscal penalty on the violators’ profits until their damage has been resolved, then watch how fast those fuckers motivate to end a crisis.
They'll get a small fine, a golden parachute for the executives, and lot's of finger wagging and you will just have to accept it!
Oh, they’re already prepared. They don’t need warning. They’ve seen this coming for 30 years.
https://investors.3m.com/news-events/press-releases/detail/1835/3m-completes-spin-off-of-solventum
https://www.propublica.org/article/3m-forever-chemicals-pfas-pfos-inside-story
Didn't Dupont just spin off two new companies lol?
As a matter of fact they did. They split into DuPont, Corteva, and Dow, although I’m not sure which one is holding the bag for the impending suits.
The Politicians - Can’t wait for the ~~Bribe~~ “Campaign Contribution” for making a law that retroactively protects these companies!
"Are your balls filled with plastic? You may be entitled to financial compensation"
"Is the plastic stored in your balls?"
it is 😞
No, no - this is the forever chemicals in your blood. The plastic in your balls will be a whole other thing!
The other lawyers: Bring it on!
Lllllllllllet’s get ready to ruuummmblllllllle!