this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
1102 points (96.5% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5622 readers
710 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 119 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your intolerance of the bovine secretions have severely reduced my desire to mate with you

[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This came back from "cow of judgement -"crow" " on DDG.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Your username is fucking disturbing. Shame on you.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Cheese was the one thing that kept me from going fully vegan for some time. Don't care about meat, don't care about milk, but cheese, cheese is special.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Similar boat here. I've been vegetarian for 18+ years now, and my meals have been vegan most days lately, but I don't know if I'll ever fully cut out cheese.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago (9 children)

Vegan cheeses have improved a lot. I've been vegan for almost 25 years, and the last few years have been the best for cheese alternatives. I don't know if you're in the US or if these are international brands, but Miyokos and Parmela Creamery both make some good stuff.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

I feel like it varies quite wildly. Hard cheese seems to be pretty difficult to emulate well, while softer cheeses seem to be more doable (though there are some horrible ones). We have a local store that makes their own vegan replacements for stuff, and they have some soft cheeses that use the same mold as the originals, and they're pretty good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Oh yeah, the oat milk stuff is pretty good and has been taking the place of cheese in the majority of my meals lately.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (18 children)

I'm still waiting the rest of the world to find out that there are so many types of pizza with no cheese

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (8 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago

They have no cheese so no

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (8 children)

That's just bread. Pizza is bread topped with sauce and cheese, end of discussion.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Not according to the Italians. You'd be astonished at how unimportant they consider cheese as a topping. It's the bread and the sauce that matter. Everything else is a garnish.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I share the opinion that pizza is bread with sauce and cheese.

However, I am open to change my mind because there is always room for more pizza in my life. What's everyone's favorite non-cheese pizzas?

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

I’d rather have pizza with no cheese than pizza with no red sauce but again, it’s like saying I’d rather have no green cones than no red cones in my eyes. Having both adds and extra dimension.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I need that image of the crow.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago

Cheese apologism is cowardice

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Technically, dairy tolerance is mostly genetic. It doesn't have any particular survival benefits in this day and age, though.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (15 children)

Hence the reference to their bloodline. Most of the world is lactose intolerant, so I guess most people have a weak bloodline

/s, because apparently it wasn't clearly a joke?

load more comments (15 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Is it lactose intolerance? Because that's a weak argument. Lactose can be broken down in the gut in one of two ways, for the lactose tolerant, this is through an enzyme called lactase, which you create in your gut naturally. It separates the lactose into smaller parts that can be digested normally.

For the lactose intolerant, they lack (or at least underproduce) lactase in the gut, so the breakdown of lactose to its more basic chains is done through fermentation (or something similar), which produces significant amounts of methane gas. That extra pressure in the gut causes your body to flood the area with whatever water it can, which creates the unpleasant experience associated with lactose for the intolerant.

But get this... Science has found a way to package lactase into a pill that you can take. I know right? Mind blown. So you take the pills before or during your lactose filled meal and... You're fine. Amazing!

Science.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

It all sounds great on paper but as someone that is lactose intolerant I can tell you that those little lactase pills do not always work and a single small ice cream cone is enough to completely ruin my evening.

Cheese is fine though. The vast majority of cheeses are actually naturally low in lactose, because most of it is in the whey.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

My father is foodie. He fucking loves cheese and milkshakes and lots of dairy. He claims lactaid pills don't do much for him. I wouldn't know because I can pretty much eat anything.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I really dont care for cheese as a general rule, the exceptions being unless it’s a on a pizza, potentially on a cheeseburger although I’d prefer it without, or otherwise incorporated into a recipe to the point where I can’t tell(I almost always can unfortunately). It’s based in sensory issues I have tried many times to overcome through trial and error, and I hate this aspect of myself, but this is a relatable screenshot from both romantic and platonic relationships over the years

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)

potentially on a cheeseburger although I’d prefer it without

So ... a hamburger?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I'm sorry thats not my field of expertise

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So… you can’t taste it on a pizza?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I have a thoughts this a lot since dietary restrictions became the new badge of courage. I’m from the olden days where we were embarrassed and shamed for our shortcomings… My least favorite is the person with a dietary restriction they aren’t even up to speed on. Damn my toxic masculinity! Thanks, Dad…

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It was pretty tough working at a bakery stall at farmers markets when people were just starting to jump on the gluten free train. I'd have folks come up to me and start screaming at me that they needed spelt bread because of their celiac disease, and I was a heartless bitch for not having any. Explaining that spelt actually has more gluten than regular wheat was not a good idea, nor was explaining that to be safe for a person with celiac disease, bread would need to be 1) free of gluten containing grains, not just wheat and 2) baked in a facility where the air is not thick with wheat flour dust, depositing itself on every surface. "Give me my special bread! IT MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL!!!"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Those people also frustrate the hell out of my aunt with actual celiac disease. She's basically had to stop eating in restaurants because there's no real way for her to differentiate between "gluten-free" and "no, no really, we cooked all of this in a completely separate area of the kitchen with dedicated utensils that never come into contact with anything from the other side of the kitchen"

She has a couple of places she can trust, but just trying out new places for funsies is not a thing she could ever do.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you can identify it, let it go. You're half way there already.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (8 children)

This is really a thing ive been wondering about USA... Dont you have lactose free products? I mean, if the tiny Nordics can and do produce lactose free versions of pretty much everything, in pretty much every possible place, why cant you?

Is it a sadism/eugenics thing (kidding but not 100% kidding)?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (8 children)

One interesting thing about lactose free products is, that most aren’t lactose free. They only contain the enzymes to digest the lactose. If you are lactose intolerant this is perfectly fine, but if you’re allergic to lactose it doesn’t change anything for you

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

We do. Vegan soy cheese is in a lot of groceries now, but usually only specialized restaurants will offer fake cheese as an option. We're just starting to get fake meat in various eateries, and that's still mostly limited to burgers.

A few pizzerias around here will offer a cheese -less pizza or other vegan options (fake cheese, onions paste instead, etc).

Edit: oh we also have milk and cheese but engineered to be lactose free. I'd say that's even rarer in restaurants than vegan options though.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›