Somebody should Photoshop "Follow us on PornHub" on a package of cucumbers.
this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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In my experience, reality is not far behind satire..
The first thing I found when searching for "foods that advertise on pornhub"
I’m 5000% done with this shit..
Ugh, I remember those Devour commercials… those were creepy as shit. Never made me want to eat something less
Well duh. Peartube is the federated choice for fruits!
I went to an orange's YouTube and it sucked. That motherfucker is annoying!
Oh god am I glad this phase is over
This C is the facebook of Lemy
Hey what's up you guys today we're gonna pear
It says right there why a person might want to check it out: recipes.
..which is much less funny than the mental image of a bunch of pears having a YouTube account.
Also, if I need a recipe, I'll READ a recipe! There's no way I'm gonna watch a video recipe without having to pause and rewind several times and then unreasonably blame myself for the end result looking almost immeasurably better in the video than in my kitchen.
I've watched cooking videos for techniques for things, and with fruit being the theme, I would imagine there are some pastry/pie things that might be worth watching.
You'll read a recipe huh? Not so fast! You gonna skim through the author's life story first.
It also says activities.
I want pear activities now.
Pre-pear your anus.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yeah, they should be using the fediverse version: peartube
If only they had an OnlyFans account ...
How dare you not share the URL!
Now I miss the inevitable "Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend" comment that would immediately follow the video link...
I spent a lot of time putting googly eyes on these pears and coming up with a distinct voice for each one. Why you gotta do me dirty like that.
Wait, do you want to meet the person who photographs these labels, the person running the social media for the food, or the person who shares the photographs that inspires you to share the photographs? 😵
The difference in taste between good and mediocre for fruit is huge. Most fruit in stores doesn't even taste distinct at this point. I'd totally be down to follow good growers to know when/where to buy their stuff. There's this brand of frozen cherries in my fridge (Townsend Farms, Oregon) that has ruined all other cherries for me. Dole organic bananas, at least the ones at my Costco in Texas (says product of Mexico), have similarly ruined all other bananas for me. Taste is like, generic fructose, vs something distinctly of that fruit.
My work used to have a hookup with a local watermelon farmer, every summer we'd buy a few pallets and give everyone a watermelon. I'm still chasing the taste of those melons...
I do not want to meet that person. I suspect that I would have absolutely nothing in common with them.
Shout out to all the pear.