How about a shared calendar you both subscribe to?
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I've never been able to get a calendar to reliably trigger alarms :(
Damn, that was my only idea
Have you tried a different calendar app? I'm using Etar and it never missed an appointment. I pair it with Calendar Notification to be able to postpone alarms, it hasn't been updated in a while, but...it works!
I'm not sure self-hosted is what you need, perhaps just a FOSS app for your two phones?
Alternatively Home Assistant should be able to push alarms to your phones.
Home Assistant is an interesting idea. I only learned about it recently but I know it's hella dense and I feel like figuring out how to get it to do this one thing might be a huge task. I'll keep it in mind though if nothing else pops up.
This is the docs you need https://companion.home-assistant.io/docs/notifications/critical-notifications/
I might have to have a look into that, could be a great way to get the wife to do things
Hey, this is definitely getting really close. However, I think for this to work our phones would need to be connected to my Wireguard all the time, right?
If you don't expose to the internet at large, yes you would need a VPN.
I don't see contraindications about that, I have 2 Wireguard VPNs (to my VPS and to my home) on all the time and I haven't noticed any extra battery draining.
it should not as it only 'runs' when pakets are sent through it, but it also should not be much more 'expensive' than normal network pakages. that is the best part about wireguard!
I too would like to know. I use the app Due on iOS. And it is nice and not a sub (though after 1 year you technically need to buy it again IF you want features that released into the app after 1 year of your purchase. It’s also iOS only and doesn’t let others force a notification on you. But if they have the app they can create a notification and text you a custom link to auto add that notification to your app. For anyone reading who is on iOS and wants something like this. due is really cool. Notifications but with a lot of customization. Most important feature is that you can use critical alerts. So like an alarm it can override silence mode or focuses to notify you every X minute until you snooze or dismiss. Can also disable snooze but then I find my self dismissing without actually doing it.
Either way a platform agnostic proper notification system sounds right up my alley. Just googling around I found Apprise and Mind might look into that later (don’t know nearly enough to say if it’s a viable alternative to Galarm or Due but seems extensive and lightweight.
Apprise is interesting. One of the many things it talks to might be what I'm looking for. I've seen multiple instances on the Internet of people using some kind of notification to trigger an automation software on the phone which actually sets the alarm. That might be the route to go.