this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
205 points (96.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 32 comments
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[–] [email protected] 77 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Do the alphabet with your tongue

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago

Backwards, in cursive

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Like a bulldog eating custard.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

Reminds me of a joke I heard..

Kid goes to his father, Dad what does a vagina look like?"

Dad: "Before sex or after sex?"

Kid: "uh.. before sex."

Dad: "Like a rose, with all it's pedals in full bloom"

kid: thinks for a second. "huh ok. What about after sex?"

Dad "Ever see a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Will ramen do?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

boy this is clearly a lemonussy

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

My only excuse is that I just woke up and my eyes were still bleary.

Wait... Does this mean we can get some Lemonussyade?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Well you know what they say: when life gives you lemonussy, make lemonussyade.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Of course it does. What a question...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

It’s a sourpuss

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

I should call her...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Fast, before it evolves into Pac-Man

edit: grammar

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Don't think, just go for it face first like it was the first meal you had in a month after crash landing in the desert

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Buy it dinner first

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Front to back

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Slice hole vertically in the middle between and stick tounge in and slurp it out

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Lick it like ice cream and if people stare at you weirdly, offer them to share it with you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

In the shower

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Aggressively.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Turn it into a spray

Now you can flavor all your foods with finesse. It's like a pepper spray with orange as the substitute for the pepper. Hell, spray it into your mouth for some fresh orange juice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

First, remember that an orange is like a good marriage. Then just eat the damn orange.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

After having a few good moments, throw the bitter and hollow remainings of your orange in the trash?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

First you have the skin, and then the sweet, sweet innards

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Start at the little hole at the bottom

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Poke a pinhole and squeeze the juice into your mouth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Spread the lips and dig in.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Suppositorily.