this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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Hundreds per week. How many guns do people in America eat every day?
I stick to only low-calorie guns, so I can eat more per week without getting too fat to get into my huge truck.
You have to be careful. It's like those bite-sized candy bars; when you eat 89 of them in a sitting you're still causing problems. I've found myself accidentally carrying up to 17 handguns at a time--i didn't even know I had half of them on me! I've had to develop good firearm hygiene, like flossing, a few times a day do a self-pat down to make sure a .357 isn't in my Crocs or a Desert Eagle .50 hasn't found it's way into one of my American Flag hoodie pockets.
I start most days with a toasted deagle slathered in butter