this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023
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The other day I put some pants on that were on the floor. I reached into the pocket and felt something move on my hand. I beat the shit out of my own thigh for 30 seconds, fuck you brown recluse!
....it was string.
Me to my bewildered cat: https://giphy.com/gifs/jerology-jim-carrey-liar-im-kicking-my-ass-ToMjGpHLTuhSJzmcxYk