this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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the fact that my grandmother absolutely, hard ass refuses to do anything that would improve her situation. Just bitches and moans and has great big narcissistic pity parties until someone forces it down her fucking throat.
For example, her vision isnt great, she complaints its hard to use the computer cause she cant see to type (Shes one of those chicken peck typers). I tell her to get a large print keyboard with a backlight, it'd be easier for her to see and use.
She says no, it wont help. nothing will help. boo hoo pity me blah blah bullshit.
Long story short, it goes back and forth for a month, with her refusing the idea, refusing when I directly link her to a keyboard to buy (it was cheap, too), etc etc. Just making a big fucking woe is me pity party out of it.
I finally say fuck it, buy the goddamn keyboard myself, take it over to her house, put it on her computer.
within 5 minutes "Why didnt you tell me about this before? Its amazing! I can see it and use the computer again!"
Shes the reason i've been balding for 20 years.
I feel you. Add her then acting like it was her idea to get you to do the thing and you have my late grandmother.
Don't let her get to you (easier said than done, I know) but she is also fairly easy to manipulate if you don't let her get under your skin.
You probably already know how she reacts to things, start small and see if you can get certain reactions out of her. You do A, she reacts with B (good or bad), you do C, she preens like she won something.
I managed to trick my grandma into giving up her car keys after her first minor fender bender in her 80s (in fairness she was a good driver, her vision was just going bad) - she ended up believing giving up the car was her idea and that she deserved to get driven around from now on. She loved her independence but also loved having people at her beck and call. She got to feel smart and superior by stopping driving and we didn't have to worry about anyone getting hurt. Everyone was so relieved, she got a lot of praise for that decision which helped too.
Don't let her ruin your health, try to reframe your reactions to her and never, ever let on that's what you are doing. Don't tell the cousin that will rat you out to try to appease her. 'She seems to do what I want? I don't see it that way. She's just making good decisions like she always does... what are you talking about?' Feel free to tell the one you can trust.
That sounds more borderline than narcissistic.
The difference between borderline and narcissism is fairly small. They are both cluster b because the symptoms overlap. It sounds more like histrionic, another cluster b disorder. The diagnosis itself means very little unless the person is seeking treatment.
Yeah, laypeople using big words from the DSM to try and sound smart is cringe
Ah yes, the big word derived from the mythical Narcissus, who we learned about in school... If anything, the issue seems to be the opposite, where the word is too widely known and used without knowing the overlapping medical term.