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Honestly I don't know, I give up on life time ago, then this last year I start "living" again by having a daily activies and job. But I deal with this like someone dead inside, I don't feel any joy. I am not even looking for a goal. I see nothing in other people, I interact with then know that i get forget as soon the day end. I am just too scared to kill myself.
Have you considered you may be depressed?
I do, but I don't think so.
Well, there could be something else going on too. Might be *worth talking to someone.