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Can you share the Home Assistant automation / setup that you have for Uptime Kuma notifications? As I'm in the same boat as you. I just got a webhook setup but I'm getting flooded with notifications, especially after services update.
My hope is I just want to be notified when a particular service is down for say 5 minutes but all I care about is knowing the node name. I don't necessarily care to get notified if the service comes back up.
This is what the 'retries' setting in each monitor is for. It will only be considered down if its failed its heartbeat check <retries> number of times in a row.
I did it all in Node Red so unfortunately I can't share the automation, but I can point you at this HACS integration https://github.com/meichthys/uptime_kuma
Set that up and all your nodes will be visible in HA then it's just a case of "if node X is off for X minutes" - "notify"