this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
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I try everything I can, music, animation, art, programming, even Sports yet no one understands me!

It's so hard to live with autism, and I'm wondering how I can get help. 😩

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I try everything I can, music, animation, art, programming, even Sports yet no one understands me!

Language!
Seriously, what i found out is that (kind of) everyone "speaks a different language". Unforunately, most people are not aware of this, so the burden is on those who do get aware, to communicate in a language that the other one understands. Autistic people tend to use and understand languages differently, in characteristic ways. More formulaic or more complex, for example -- thus a difficulty arises in translating their idea, say into somewhat more culturally-associative or sequetial/one-dimensional language.

In other words, i think that i understand you! 🥲
The list of things you tried to express in, those can all be taken as different languages, all with their own complexity and levels of formulaity, suitable for communicating different things. I mean for example, that music and arts can be good for displaying emotions and impressions, among other things. Even Sports can convey a lot of practical philosophy.

So, for me it gets interesting when someone says that they are "not understood" but their list of languages they considered to convey their idea does not include verbal language. That is not a fault. Many people and by far not only ND ones don't do well in verbal expression. Some of the most proficient exerts are very good at expressing their ideas in math, but ask them to explain all that in plain language or talk about the philosophical implications and they will fail.

Perhaps you are asking for help with coming toward a "translation", or perhaps it is about finding a suitable way to express. Or perhaps you are asking for someone who could resonate with your way of expression; someone who is able to communicate in your way.

My first question back to/for you may be, could you explain it in words, in what ways is your use of those means of expression you mentioned different/divergent from the way others use them? -- Or is it so that you "failed" in those disciplines at expressing your idea (trying to imitate rather than innovate)? (Did you ever think about it?)
There are ways to going by example also online. One place for such things could indeed be the Matrix chat.

The way in which you use a language or an art differently matters! If only few people understand you then you are doing something out of the ordinary. It might be unfitting in your social environment but it might as well be something novel.

Here is an example from me. When I play my drum then I can tell a story. You bet there is rarely a 4/4 beat in that playing, and it's not just any drum but it's melodic. Rarely there is someone who would inquire about the playing but rather about the drum ... because the technical seems to be talked about more easily than the dramatic, idk. And rarely there is someone who could follow, as the way is intuitive; I never play the exact same thing twice.

I'd also ask you how old you are. It's because more lifetime brings more experience and less lifetime brings less expectation. ... I'm a fourty-eight year old boy who sometimes has something coming through in an odd rhythm on his very own kind of drum, and who sometimes writes multidimensionally, and who makes a distinction between "I" and "i". And something that i am actually quite bad at but anyway -- i'm coming to a conclusion that it's better to seek the right people to communicate with, than trying to make everyone understand. Trying to explain all that in words might fill books, so it might be more easy to find someone who can understand and follow the drum.