this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I'm writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole "lying to children about Christmas" thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it's completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.

Two questions:

What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the "magic of Christmas" at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.

And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a "talk"? Let them figure it out on their own?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's weird from an adult's perspective but it's magical for a kid, and seeing the excitement build and the idea of actual magic contributing to a really family centric event is like proper magic for a parent too.

I spent a long time growing up thinking that I would never do that to my kids, but I think it's actually crueler not to do it now. You're taking away an experience most children share and get excited by together for no real reason.

My children are 3.5 and 9months and I haven't decided when I'd let the older one know but it's certainly a few years away at least. I'm hoping that one day she comes and asks me herself how real it is because she's pieced together how impossible some aspects are, but I really have no idea how naively optimistic I'm being. I guess what's more likely is she comes home from school upset one day because another kid told her, and then I'll have to explain it and get her on board to keep the magic alive for her little brother.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, once you have kids, you realize the magic of Xmas trumps any other potential issues one might have with it.

Kids don't think about all the issues of "free toys, stranger danger, weirdo in my house, lapsitting on an older dude".

For them Christmas is pure magic. I would never take this away from my Kids. My eldest knows the truth, he still loves pretending and making my youngest kids believe.

Sometimes the magic of a situation is much more important than the "educational value". You won't traumatize your kids by having santa come and have the best morning of their entire year....