Casual Conversation

1767 readers

257 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

RULES

Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling
Keep the conversation nice and light hearted
Encourage conversation in your post
Avoid controversial topics such as politics or societal debates
Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate
No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.
Respect privacy: Don’t ask for or share any personal information

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

My dad contacted me out of nowhere (startrek.website)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

55 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can't make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I'm not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I'm at a loss here. Haven't really talked to the person for over 21 years.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You don't owe them anything just because you share blood. That being said.

Without knowing the background: if it was not him you're mad at, he might just want to have contact with his offspring. Nothing inherently bad. So why not? Can't hurt. It's not yes or no forever. Test what he REALLY wants and decide then? At least you can never blame yourself in the future for not trying, if you're inclined to doing these things.

But if there is any toxicity at all, fuck it. Ground rule #1 in life: cut toxic people out. Period. Be it blood or stranger. Doesn't matter. But you already did this long ago, so kudos for that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Crazy that you say "can't hurt" despite OP explicitly stating that it already hurts even at the place in the decision making that they are currently in.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

As the possibility isn't off the table (or else there'd be no post) and considering we know absolutely nothing about the why, it sure can't hurt much more. Or maybe it can and the question was futile. It's just a wild guess based on nearly no info. And as an optimist, i assume the least bad. Working with badly abused people i sure know the other side.