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It was my birthday a few days ago and all I can think about is how I'm still a virgin (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I feel like past a certain age everyone doesn't like growing older. For me I have that same feeling plus the added pressure that every year I go from being an X year old virgin to an X+1 one year old virgin. I'm about to finish collage and go into the work field which given my internship I can already tell I won't have much of a chance at meeting new people even less girls.

Everytime I find someone and start getting along with them really well. I think to my self this will finally be the year which I stop being a virgin. But it just has not worked out. Of course I dont go into a relationship with the sole goal of losing my V-card but it is something that crosses my mind.

I am 24 year old and I am still a virgin.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

I'm surprised no one has tried to give any dating advice here. OP, regardless of the virginity thing, do you want to find a romantic partner? It's entirely reasonable to want both romance and sex.

Here's what's worked for me:

Figure out what kind of person your ideal partner would be, what their interests are, and where they would hang out.
Put yourself in places where you're likely to meet that kind of person. For example, if you're looking for someone that likes the outdoors and staying physically active, maybe look for a hiking group in your area.
Be confident, and be chill. If you're neither, fake it until you are.

That's the basic outline. If you're meeting people that are sort of like what you're looking for, but not quite, that's an indication that you're on the right track and should keep at it. Dating is a grind and requires patience.

In terms of confidence/chill, that means:

Assuming that someone you're interested in could also be attracted to you, instead of just assuming they aren't.
Handling rejection gracefully.
Not keeping your desires a secret, but also having the patience not to dump everything on them all at once. If you want to be sexual, be lightly flirty with them, and see if they respond in kind. If they do, then you can gradually escalate along those lines.
Not requiring constant attention from them. Give them a chance to miss you. Don't feel the need to respond to that text right away, for example. Wait 10 minutes or so, then respond. This lets them know that you don't expect immediate responses, and they can get back to you later if they're busy. It also slows the pace of conversation down, so that you don't run out of things to talk about.