this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Well Mister you forgot one thing, they have ~~the hulk.~~ God
GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA AND THE MONSTERS ON TV GOOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND ME
Did you just.... veggietales me? In public, all out and about like this and you pull out your veggietales like that?
“My dear, religion is like a penis. It’s a perfectly fine thing to have and take pride in, but when one takes it out and waves it in front of my face we have a problem."
RIP
And definitely don't force it on your children.
Finally someone said it.
Yeah I did, what're you gonna do? I'm on this big wall.
🫛 🧱
Keep walking, but you won't knock down our wall. Keep walking, but she isn't gonna to fall!
It's plain to see your brains are very small. To think walking, will be knocking down our wall.
You siiilly little pickle...you tiny little peaaass...
Weirdly, though, he can't just snap his fingers and make Satan vanish.
I guess he's not that omnipotent.
Q totally could. Praise be you big weirdo
Yeah, but The Sisko can knock him on his ass
Uh no, he's super horny for torture
Yeah, but evangelicals also think Satan does all sorts of trickery on Earth all the time to thwart God. Which God somehow lets happen.
And then, of course, there's the fact that people can hurt their omnipotent god by doing things like saying "fuck" or kissing someone of their own gender. The god that's also omniscient, so he would have seen it coming before he did all the light let there being.
Satan has to exist. Otherwise they would be responsible for the fucked up shit that they do.
I'm a good Christian. I only did a shit ton of drugs and orgies because SATAN made me do it. I can't go to hell because of what the devil did in my body. I can atone with god and he will clear my soul of wrongdoing. And then I can walk around in public without shame again.
The best part is all you have to do is say you're sorry and you go to heaven. Then you just do more drugs and have more sex and then just say you're sorry again... works every time!
God is secretly horny for all that shit, He's Satan's bottom.
He's just repressed, like a Republican senator.
Weird how we all make gods in our own image
That and I think their god hates them.
Well yeah, they hate themselves
I’m firmly convinced that Christianity can be broken into polytheistic (folk Catholics especially), dualistic (everyone screaming about the devil), and monotheistic (all Christians are influenced by it and so any individual Christian may be). The dualists scare me
Well he can, but he doesn't because, uh... Because it's all part of his plan. Kinda like kids getting cancer, or natural disasters.
I thought gay sex caused natural disasters.
it's true and honestly really inconvenient. I keep trying to kiss my gf but we're always interrupted by tornado sirens. How are we supposed to groom any kids into our satanic sex cult under these conditions??
Them damn liberals with their gay sex, causin' natural disasters in my pants.