this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
711 points (95.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26698 readers
3824 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
711
nooooooo (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

For newer users, the 3 day no poop post was an legendary asklemmy post where OP asked how they could go three days without shitting. We never found out why.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] doctorn 66 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

Reading these comments, I now suddenly feel weird that I only shit twice a week. I eat daily 2-3 times and my shits aren't even painful or unusually big... Sometimes just 2 rolls and done... I also weigh around the 60kg, so I have no idea where all the food/shit goes... πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

Maybe I'm becoming like Axe Cop and my body has a higher % waste-efficiency... πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Either way, once every 3-4 days is perfectly normal for me... Has been all my life... πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah how many rolls do you use per shit?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

At this point, use a bidet, dammit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

How do y'all measure the REDACTED amount with rolls used?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I guess by roll he means log.

I’ve never really heard a piece of shut referred to as a roll before. Maybe it’s a non English language thing.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If i eat a slice of ham 2-3 times a day, i would shit once a month, probably. If you weigh around 60kg then i assume you dont eat very large meals.

A while back, i weighed around 20 stone i was eating 3 meals a day (occasionally 4 if we got a cheeky late night mcdonalds) and snacks randomly through the day. I would shit once a day sometimes twice a day.

Just for comparison.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

i eat pretty large (but healthy) meals maybe 3 or 4 times per day and deliver payloads like every day or every two days, rarely twice per day.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I used to weigh 20 stone and some, and I'm pretty close to 14 now. I shit as much or more, but they're WAY smaller. My shits used to be monsters, now it's like a toot with a projectile and I'm done.

I think everyone just poops a little different

[–] doctorn 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I must disappoint you. Usually both my meals on my day are dinner (warm food) whichever time it usually random is; at least 85% of it is fast food like McDonald's and alike; and to maybe give you an idea of what amount I eat in 1 meal: usually about the amount of a Maxi McDonald's-Menu with an extra burger (sometimes 2). πŸ˜…

Many people then usually tell me I have a "fast metabolism", but if that were true I'd shit more than just the twice a week... πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wveryone is different.but you say 2 meals a day mostly fast food. But not 3 mealsz not snacks and not second dinner? There are many other aspects. But you might just be lucky i guess.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Second dinner? Oo
I usually just can't myself up to make actual dinner until late in the evening. Don't know where I could even fit in a second dinner

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Lol. Its a concept me and my wife used to indulge in when we would make our dinner and then later we would be watching a film and order takeaway delivery. No effort involved other than answering the door. It was not a good thing and made us both chunky but we dont do it any more as we decided to lose the weight and get back on a healthier diet.

[–] doctorn 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, no. I eat maximum twice a day as much as I can cause it's hard to make time for it being a bit on the ADHD side of the spectrum. There are days I might only eat once cause I skipped one, but most days it's 2: 1 a bit after waking up, the second usually some time before bed... I used to eat less, but that turned out to be one of the sources of migraines I used to have. Probably because I lack any reserves having almost no fat-storage...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Not an expert but a random thing I heard was: anywhere between 3 times a day, and once every 3 days is normal.

For me it depends on how stressed I am and how much fibre I eat. What I do know is that gut health is complicated.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] doctorn 2 points 1 year ago

i do actually. Also red bull and a lot of Cola...

If I eat too spicy though,I'll inevitably be on the toilet the day after, but it'd not so much be because of needing to shit but instead to get rid of the burning sensation in my colon once it's down there somewhere. πŸ˜… Luckily I have to really overdo it to get this happening, yet I do like to occasionally overdo it anyway. I love spicy food way too much. πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a 12-100 times a day dude. I hate you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I just had my anus replaced with velcro instead. Works like a shoe

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

BTW these things have legitimately made a difference within two weeks. What the fuck. Ive been suffering daily for years, trying a few different probiotics in the past. I havent changed anything else about my routine except this and im legitimately more able bodied.

Thanks homie.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Glad I could help! Can probably find it cheaper at a local health food store.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dude you either have a really slow metabolic rate or you got tape worm. I'd lean toward the former since you haven't dided dude to malnutrition yet.

[–] doctorn 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have already wondered the latter too, but have taken pills that would kill them a few times in my life to make sure, so either they are the Futurama self-sustaining worms immune to poison (πŸ˜‚) or it's not that. πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lol well you could potentially have a condition named after you πŸ˜‚

[–] doctorn 2 points 1 year ago

Damn, those are usually the worst. πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interested in what your gut biomes are like.

Healthy, poop less, AND dealing with McDonald's food?

Wonders never cease

[–] doctorn 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yeah, hence why I also am no reference point for those things. I do many things you shouldn't and avoid many things you should. I don't eat vegetables unless the few in a hamburger or in mixed soup (the latter only happens once or twice a year or so). I only drink real Coca-Cola, Redbul, coffee, iced coffee,... I smoke both sigarets and 'recreational sigarets'... But I still look 10 years younger than I actually am and have no real health problems (as opposed to many my age) and my cholesterol isn't even high... πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

Anyway, as long as this lasts I'm taking advantage of it. πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Well, I'll raise a glass to you!

Btw Interesting, phonetically functional spelling of cigarettes.

Wondering what your primary language is...?

Or if there's somewhere that sigarets is a common spelling/usage for cigarettes (?)

[–] doctorn 2 points 1 year ago

lol, I always confuse the word. In Dutch it's called a 'sigaret' and I once was told that was a very "French" way of typing it, which made me think now again I used 'cigarettes' back then (as that's similar in French) and used 'sigarets' now... My memory sucks. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

And as I do a search, a bunch of results for "e sigarets," especially from AliExpress.

Would make sense to rebrand away from the "cigarette" spelling to indicate a different method/form of ingestion/intake