this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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Hear me out: a metal 1990s Lara Croft uniboob. Hits are no longer directed to the sternum.
If that isn't credible enough for you, make the uniboob bigger, redirecting force outward, away from the chest.
If that isn't credible enough for you, a massive uniboob containing a tiny gnome sorcerer able to slay at range. Basically a lil green skinned tiddy tank.