this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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Anyone else struggle with (other people's) birthdays? (feddit.uk)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
36 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Like - what do I write in the card? What the hell do I get them? They come up so quickly as well.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Lol, the timing of this is pretty crazy. Today is a big milestone birthday for my brother, and texting him some birthday wishes is my major task for the day (you know, the thing where, as long as I do that, I have completed today, even though there are other things I will hopefully be able to do, but might not because the main task might take all my energy).

We live pretty far apart, and I don't have too clear an idea of his current interests, and his job doesn't leave him with a lot of spare time. Usually I buy him a digital gift of some kind (ebook, switch game I think he'd like, etc) and send a happy birthday email that's like 2 sentences that I spend all day composing in my head. I haven't figured out what to get him this year, but also, for my birthday earlier this year he just texted me instead of buying me a steam game I'll never play, so I'm sort of taking that as a signal that it's okay for me to do the same (I'm relieved, rather than offended - I'm totally fine with not receiving any particular birthday greeting or gift myself). I ran that idea by my NT mom, and she agreed that that sounds absolutely fine.

So I guess I'm about to text him something like "Happy xth birthday! Hope you're having a great day! Any big plans to celebrate the milestone?" And then have a brief back and forth on the basis of his response. "About to" here meaning in the next few hours I guess.

On the topic in general, I run into this with Christmas presents as well, who to get presents for at in-person gatherings of various sizes, or for close family that live far away, etc, and what to give them.