I’ll have you know I graduated top of my shit class in the Shitting Acadamey, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Public Toliets, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in sewage warfare and I’m the top shitter in the entire US Sewage System. You are nothing to me but just another target.

I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shit in over seven ways, and that’s just with my bare butt with my hands and feet planted.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed shitting, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Sewage Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable shit stain off the face of the side of the toilet.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn dolt. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re a dead man walking, and I’m the one holding the trigger. You can’t hide, you can’t run, and you can’t escape. I’ll find you, and I’ll make you wish you were never born. You’re a pathetic little worm, and I’m part of the Sewage Aligators, and I’ll crush you like the insignificant insect you are.

You’re Fucking Dead, Kiddo

Hard /s